Physicist Succumbs to Dangerfield Syndrome

Matthew Gaylor freematt at coil.com
Sun Apr 1 20:33:53 PDT 2001


APRIL 01, 21:11 EST

Physicist Succumbs to Dangerfield Syndrome

By Mickey Spillane
Affiliated Print Writer

Cambridge, Mass (AP) -  Dr. Phallus Halitosis-Baker today went on a 
verbal rampage injuring six and boring five others.  Police were 
called to Dr. Halitosis-Baker's east side home after neighbors 
noticed him yelling at them that taxes were too low and complaining 
that they had too many NRA bumper stickers on their gas guzzling 
sport utility vehicles.  Before being led away to the Orwell Clinic 
for the critically underestimated, Dr. Halitosis-Baker vowed to 
return to fight what he calls the oppression of American excellence 
in science and education.  "It's not fair that I have to come to the 
United States so I can make good money." Dr. Halitosis-Baker 
commented from the police cruiser.

An initial diagnosis points to a severe case of Dangerfield Syndrome, 
named after American comedian Rodney Dangerfield.  The syndrome 
causes victims to resort to name calling and ad-hominem arguments 
when they're not accorded the respect they think they deserve.  Dr. 
Phallus Halitosis-Baker's episode was apparently triggered when a 
neighbor called Dr. Phallus Halitosis-Baker, Dick and not Dr. Dick as 
he prefers.  The prognosis looks bright however for Dr. Phallus 
Halitosis-Baker, especially after technicians cleaned his mouth out 
with soap and gave him a toothbrush.

Regards,  Matt-


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