Matthew X profrv at
Thu May 6 18:30:54 PDT 1999

“I’m Stranger Here, Myself” — Part VI of The True Story Of The InterNet
It has come to the attention of ‘Maybe I’m A Judge, Maybe I’m A Computer 
Program’ Arnold that quite a number of supposedly highly intelligent 
number-crunchers in the Cryptography Community are still mystified as to 
the Rapidity&OR&Rabidity of the assault which the Defarcement of (n)Ju$tice 
and the Ninth Circus Court launched on Bernstein, Bell and Toto, among others.
Perhaps a bit of straight-talk from those involved might help to clear 
things up.
U.$. Treasury Agent Jeff Gordon:
“Look, you fucking morons. When the IRS stomps the living shit out of some 
average John&OR&Jane Doe, fucking up their lives, their finances, their 
reputations and their future, do you think it’s because we give a 
FatRat’sAss about them?
“Buy a clue. ( The whole point of doing so, and 
making sure that it receives plenty of MainStreamDream Media coverage, is 
to scare the Living BeJesus out of the other J&OR&J Doe 
TaxPayers&Payers&Payers out there, and to serve notice that the Federal 
Government, the IRS in particular, is all powerful, and can crush Ewe like 
a bug whenever and wherever TheRoyalWe feel like it, and that Ewe are 
powerless to stop us.”
“So take a wild guess
 Do you think anybody really gave a FatRat’sAss about 
Bernstein’s nickel&dime handiwork? Who do Ewe think the real target was?”
[gNote from : “Can Ewe say ‘Ewe?’
Sure, Ewe Can!”]
Assistant Federal Prosecutor Robb London:
“When Toto’s first words to the Ninth Circus Court were that he was ready 
to proceed and wanted to represent himself, why do you think he spent the 
next nine months being denied all of his constitutional rights, being 
subjected to medical abuse and physical torture in a 
PrisonForTheCriminallyInsane, just as the Secret Service had threatened, 
and then being tried and sentenced even after being found incompetent in 
the only competency hearing held by the Ninth Circus Court?
“Do you think it was because we gave a fat rat’s ass about him? Buy a 
fucking clue. ( We tried to plead him out to time 
served after we proved our point that we can do anything we want to anybody 
we want, and ScrewTheConstitution, but the fucking moron thought he was 
going to actually get a trial

“So take a wild guess
 Who do Ewe think we were really trying to send a 
message to?”
[gNote from : If Ewe still need a hint, try asking 
Petite Minds Grand Jury Target William ‘I’m Sorry I Made A Perfectly Legal 
Post To The CypherPunks List’ H. Geiger III, or Adam ‘I Mathematically 
Proved That I Can Never Go To The U.$. Without Being Arrested’ Back.]
Feral Court Judge ‘Maximum’ Jack Tanner:
“Didn’t EweDumbBastards notice during Bell’s <nod-nod> ‘trial’ <wink-wink> 
that even the MainStreamDream Media no longer bothers to pretend that there 
is any shred of constitutional grounds for my “bizarre,” “confusing” and 
“peculiar” rulings. Not only that, but no one even hints that anything 
should, or will, be done about the open travesties of justice that take 
place in my court.
“I’m fucking GOD! Do eWE The Sheeple think Ewe want to fuck with the Ninth 
Circus Court? Do Ewe feel Punk, Lucky? We’ll do you
Pubic Defender “Uncle Gene’ Grantham:
“Surely you folks don’t think that I publicly acknowledged on the InterNet 
that I never bothered to prepare for trial and lost key evidence by 
accident, do you? Do you think it was an ‘oversight’ on my part to reveal 
that I was illegally and unethically advising my client to plead guilty 
while publicly proclaiming my belief in his innocence?
“If I can get my erotic kicks ‘touching myself’ while listening to my 
clients relate the abuse and torture they are subjected to, and count on 
the Ninth Circus Judges to ignore Motions to the Court in regard to my 
Moral Turpitude, then who do Ewe think is supposed to take heed of the 
message being sent, here?”
Feral Court Judge Robert Bryan:
“Trying a case where the defendant is denied all of his or her 
constitutional rights is kind of like pitching a no-hitter, in the Ninth 
Circus Court. But to do it to a defendant that you have found incompetent, 
in your very first trial as a federal judge
 Well, let’s just say that if 
any of those smart-ass number-crunchers decide to fuck with the Ninth 
Circus Court, again, it won’t be because I didn’t warn them

Nobody at
“The Ninth Circus Court has broken new ground, in ruling, in UNITED STATES 
OF AMERICA v. CARL JOHNSON – NO. CR98-5393RJB, that emails written by 
Artificial Intelligence computer programs were evidence of the programs 
having acted with ‘intent and malice.’
The ‘Not Ready For Prime Numbers Players’ would like to thank those 
responsible for the first confirmation, by a U.$. Feral Court, of the 
creation of an Artificial Intelligence LifeForm found to be not only more 
‘competent’ than some of its creators, and thus capable of assuming 
‘responsibility’ for its actions, but also found capable of being a ‘true 
threat,’ according to Ninth Circus Court standards, to Feral employees and 
the Patron Saint of TouretTics, Wm. Gates III, who has made Cursors of us all.
eWe Applaud:
OtOt: For making his account freely available, in an 
outstanding example of TrueAccess2Information, as the Grand Central Station 
Of CyberSpace.
Gori: For providing the AI Sperm for Arnold’s Spawn, and sharing Toto’s 
password with the Masses.
Leca: For holding Keys to Kingdoms he never suspected.
Dama: For mathematical proofs beyond number

The Killer Klowns of the Ninth Kirkus Kourt: For helping the ‘Fake A Wish’ 
foundation provide a poor disabled child named Toto with “The Trial Oswald 
Never Had.”

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