The AOL Chronicles
Paul H. Merrill
paulmerrill at acm.org
Wed Sep 16 07:10:32 PDT 1998
I hate to break it to you but, while most are pretty damn clueless,
there were some in that list that show that either you should go find a
clue (because the thought expressed went right over your head) or you
are placing all things which you disagree with in the clueless category.
PHM
Anonymous wrote:
>
> Every time one of these AOL wars start, the AOLers claim that there are a
> few intelligent people on AOL and that our shunning of them based on
> statistics is unjustified. We all know what the statistics are, but I
> don't think anybody has done this for Cypherpunks yet. It has been done
> other places. This isn't scientific with margins of error and everything,
> but it's good enough to illustrate the point.
>
> I went through every posting originating from AOL which was sent to
> Cypherpunks between July and September 16th, which is today. I classified
> postings as either "clueful" or "clueless," with the latter determined by
> relevance to the list, literacy, quoting, and whether it makes any sense
> at all. Anything completely stupid is also classed as "clueless."
> "Clueful" is anything which is even remotely relevant to the list, and
> includes quoted material if a followup.
>
> In addition, if an AOL user sends something clueless to the list then gets
> flamed, that posting and any subsequent postings in that thread by the
> original author are counted as clueless unless it's an apology, at which
> point it isn't counted at all. The flames of said user are counted as
> defense, not as clueless. Also, if I looked at the message but couldn't
> tell what the hell the author was talking about because he didn't bother
> to quote, I classed the posting as clueless.
>
> A "*" denotes that the portion I quote is the entire message. A "+"
> denotes that there was either no quoted material in the message or that it
> used the "<<>>" style. Keep in mind that messages which are original would
> not have quoted material, but still have a "+". A "H" means that it
> contained HTML. I removed all new lines from the quotes to make them more
> compact. If the posting was large, I quoted only some parts.
>
> Clueless posts from AOL:
>
> 1) "At least they have TCP/IP protocols now with Win 95 ex: Hiroshima
> 45, Tsjernobyl 86, Windows 95 (Please, correct my spelling if I
> misspelled Tsjernobyl)" -- FTPPork at aol.com (Porker), 18 Aug 1998, (+)
>
> 2) "Ibelive by spooks he ment goverment agents not a racial slur so lay
> off." -- ILovToHack at aol.com, 31 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 3) "judy -- how about let's go shopping first and then watch the show
> remotely together????" -- Syniker at aol.com, 16 Jul 1998, (+)
>
> 4) "please i need some suggestions with topics for my informative speech,
> or may some infromative speeches already outlined to use it for
> refrence. thankyou." -- KMHAsfaha at aol.com, 17 Jul 1998, (*+)
>
> 5) "d" -- Saxgrim at aol.com, 18 Jul 1998, (*+)
>
> 6) "send me the book (e/mail me back" -- JackeI466 at aol.com, 19 Jul 1998,
> (+*)
>
> 7) "Hello: My name is Enisa, I'm 13 years old. I write an online e-zine
> that for teens. We have over 150+ members. We just started a few days
> ago. We are looking for sponsors to sponsor our contests. These are
> some of the things we are able to do for you..." -- Craz8Grl at aol.com,
> 20 Jul 1998, (+H)
>
> 8) "you got it?" -- LrdWill at aol.com, 20 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 9) "would love to see info re; international credit cards." --
> TTrump5646 at aol.com, 21 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 10) "i would be very delighted if u gave me a free download for 5.0
> realplayer.if u would send it to mike111495 at aol.com and
> indoe29c at aol.com we will be very honored to receive them. thankx and
> goodbye" -- Mike111495 at aol.com, 22 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 11) [A bunch of asterisks and screaming] "I was recently informed from
> sorces who choose to remain annomous about a viri that uses macafe's
> update tool to detect when it is found then it modifys its code and
> forms a new strain of the virus this pattern continues although it has
> only been tested through a clone of macafees server to 100 mutations
> it looks like it could be a big problem I will inform you of any more
> information i learn about it but for now "THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE""
> -- ILovToHack at aol.com, 22 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 12) "WHY CANT I FIND ANY WHITE AMERICAN YOUTH ALBUMS ANYWHERE?" --
> koitch at aol.com, 23 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 13) [Subject: Pipe bombs r better] "they rule!" -- Ant6menace at aol.com, 23
> Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 14) "Actually, AOL, along with being an acceptable ISP with built in
> authentication of sender, has an easily used Mail interface. (Even if
> it doesn't exactly follow the standards.)" -- MMerlynne at aol.com, 24
> Jul 1998, (+*), in response to #12.
>
> 15) "HELLO, IS THERE ANY WAY TO GET MY HANDS ON S BOOK THAT SHOWS THE REAL
> BASEBALL PEOPLE AUTOGRAPHS AND THE FAKES SO I KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR???
> PLEASE REPLY" -- AT666IND at aol.com, 25 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 16) "I am trying to find my brother, "Allen Thomas Taylor" I am not sure
> what year he was born but I think it was l922, l923. We have the same
> Father[...]" -- CEr1942929 at aol.com (Christine Ernest), 26 Jul 1998,
> (+)
>
> 17) "Hey: Who made up the term "Politically Correct"? Not Christians and
> not Republicans. Your side did. How does wanting a smaller
> government, less taxes, the freedom to CHOOSE to pray in schools, the
> rights of the un-born( of[...] CHOKE ON IT YOU HYPOCRITE" --
> JBrown4330 at aol.com, 27 Jul 1998, (+)
>
> 18) "do you have music vinyl stickers , if so , could i get them
> wholesale?" -- Babybee390 at aol.com, 29 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 19) "I'm looking for Lynrd Skynrds Freebird on a window sticker for my
> car. Do you know where I can find one?" -- Vox9869 at aol.com, 28 Jul
> 1998, (+*)
>
> 20) "More!" -- CLCTCHR at aol.com, 29 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 21) "Can you do a 5 color process? 4x4". Price on 500,1000,1500" --
> ELarson100 at aol.com, 4 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 22) [Subject: whut up] "looking for a place to have some Band stickers
> made, can you email me a phone number so we can check out some
> prices.....thanks TIm" -- FRETELUCO at aol.com, 6 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 23) "Could you please send me the Anarchy Cookbook.....I really want it
> and I cant find it anywhere! Thanx for your help.. Mike Jonhson" --
> XoVoX123 at aol.com, 9 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 24) [Subject: .] "" (Yes, nothing.) -- EpicTeU at aol.com, 9 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 25) "Come on thake it easy on the guy at least he aint on AOL or somthing
> stuped." -- ILovToHack at aol.com, 13 Aug 1998, ()
>
> 26) [Subject: Subject: LOL. Made me look] "" (Yes, nothing.) --
> Seabiner at aol.com, 14 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 27) "about: Hello, I am trying to start a VB 32 bit code bank you can send
> any code you want to exept codes for aol addons... . 1nce a week most
> likely on fridays I will check the hotmail account specifyed below and
> I will take all the codes and put them in a txt file and send it to
> everyone who sent a code in since I am [...] To send Codes for the ML
> Send E-mail to VB32Coders at Hotmail.com In the sbject field write
> anonymous / Code topic if you don't want your E-Mail address to show
> up when I send the Codes out or else just type the topic of the code
> you are sending.. ." -- EpicTeU at aol.com, 14 Aug 1998, (+)
>
> 28) "Because the American Justice system is screwed up royally... for
> instance - Kevin Mitnick... www.KevinMitnick.com" -- FTPPork at aol.com,
> 17 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 29) "I am interested in travel between Knoxville, Tennessee and Des
> Moines, Iowa. I would also be interested in Nashville, Tennessee and
> Des Moines, Iowa or Atlanta and Des Moines, Iowa. Please notify me of
> specials in these markets. Thanks, Linda Tisue ltisue at aol.com" --
> Ltisue at aol.com, 18 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 30) "I am looking to distribute a product and I was wondering if you can
> tell me how to get mass e mail addresses. I look forward to hearing
> from you." -- LHilley488 at aol.com, 19 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 31) "Send me info on how to make a pipe bomb. HoppyF1315" --
> HOPPYF1215 at aol.com (Hoppy Head), 19 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 32) "I take that statement as an insult, and it really isn't true about
> all of us AOL users. [...] Actually, some of us know what real hacking
> is...[...] Anyway, try not to stereotype people so much, because, with
> the Advent of 32 bit AOL, we can actually use all of the TCP/IP
> protocols, etc..." -- FTPPork at aol.com, 20 Aug 1998, (+)
>
> 33) [Subject: anarchy cookbook] "Is any one home?" -- Spazherp at aol.com, 21
> Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 34) "I did not say anywhere that 32 bit would fix problems of cluelessness
> - or ignorance in your case. I said, it is a little better because we
> can now use TCP/IP protocols. Did I ever say that the people on AOL
> were smarter because of it? Well, let's go read over that post - - -
> nope... I didn't. I think some people should read a little more
> carefully, or just don't read at all." -- FTPPork at aol.com, 22 Aug 1998,
> (+*) (As I recall, this one was in response to a set of flames which
> cited his assertion in #32.)
>
> 35) [Subject: can you help me make virses please tell me who to make one
> step by step] "I need help i want to know how to make a virses in
> c\c++ please help me." -- VXF32 at aol.com, 21 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 36) "Tell me how to get tons of free stuff! Thank You ." --
> RAGOD5597 at aol.com, 21 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 37) "Here we go again" -- FTPPork at aol.com, 22 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 38) [Subject: tell me] "hola and good tidings send some info on spooks
> please i will be grateful" -- RyanFord at aol.com, 29 Aug 1998, (+*)
>
> 39) [Subject: h] "how did u do it" -- CRBREW9802 at aol.com, 7 Sep 1998, (+*)
>
> 40) " HaCkaZ OnlY Da EliTeHelLO YaLL DiS is Da MaDD AAOOLL HaCka Ima
> startin a GreWp fOR HaCs Only So In OthA WerDS yA gOttA KnOw The WAreZ
> anD HoW toO UsEr FaTe AnD AOL So MaIl Or Im Me FoR Da TeTaIls If YeR
> LeeTo K Pe at CE FrOmE The LeeTs HacKJeFFrO)" -- Jrjeffro at aol.com, 9 Sep
> 1998, (+*)
>
> 41) Message quoting the above, which wasn't originally sent to the list,
> in "<< >>" style, adding only: "What the hell is this? No wonder why
> AOLers have a bad name Im going to Flame this guy" -- EpicTeU at aol.com,
> 10 Sep 1998, (+*)
>
> 42) "Preach on brother =)" -- AIMSX at aol.com, 15 Sep 1998, (+*), copied to
> 25 other recipients, plus the list.
>
> 43) "I read that book" -- AIMSX at aol.com, 15 Sep 1998, (+*)
>
> 44) "All Creatures Great and Small - that one... =) I also read an Aasimov
> a while back in fifth grade - unfortunately, I can't remember even the
> name... I need to pick some of his books up again... One book I can
> remember reading since 5th grade (and every summer thereafter) is "IT"
> by Stephen King - one of his few really good books. I have read it 8
> times since. I greatly recommend it =)" -- AIMSX at aol.com, 15 Sep 1998,
> (+*)
>
> 45) "We are sending you an invitation to be one of our special guests this
> year, big harry ass lawsuits are always of interest. Bring a friend
> if you like, but I have to warn you, Liberatarians are not welcome.
> This years menu includes red meat and poptarts. Clothing is optional.
> Sincerely, Beth" -- BUFFU at aol.com, 17 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 46) "That's why I suggest listening to I Robot by Alan Parson's Project."
> -- StanSqncrs at aol.com, 18 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 47) "If sombody offers you some FedGov, just say NO!" --
> Nilsphone at aol.com, 23 Jul 1998, (), copied to 32 recipients, including
> the list.
>
> Note the "+" ratings on the below. (Semi-)Clueful postings from AOL:
>
> 1) "It's the easy way out (and I mean DOWN and OUT)! I mean, if we're
> simply going to change them out everytime, why bother to figure out
> which ones a going to change them out everytime, why bother to figure
> out which ones aren't evil/stupid (I mean, out of all those
> politicians, there's got to be 1 or 2! I think. ;-) )? See, if we just
> simply change politicians at every chance, then we throw the baby out
> with the bathwater, so to speak. The simple solutions aren't always
> the best ones." -- StanSqncrs at aol.com, 17 Jul 1998, (+*)
>
> 2) "ROFLOL! What's coincidental? The latest tune that my band, Nobody's
> Business (in which I play bass and sing) has learned, is Cheap
> Sunglasses by ZZ Top. If it ain't coinicidence, I got a 'scarecrow' in
> my band. " -- StanSqncrs at aol.com, 18 Jul 1998, (+)
>
> 3) [Subject: Subject: Nomination of Lyndon Larouche to the UNITED NATIONS
> OF THE FRINGE] "Hey Punks, As a United Nations OF the Cyber Fringe
> Member, I am asking for your input on giving Lyndon a nomination. So
> far his war crimes only include[...]" -- BUFFU at aol.com, 20 Jul 1998,
> (+)
>
> 4) "If you would like information about tempest monitors, computers,
> printers or secure fax machines, please contact me." --
> CompSec01 at aol.com (Karen Azoff), 22 Jul 1998, (+)
>
> I gave up at this point because the clueless list just kept growing. The
> ratio isn't encouraging, especially since I was being generous with what
> is considered a "clueful post."
More information about the cypherpunks-legacy
mailing list