The AOL Chronicles
Anonymous
nobody at replay.com
Wed Sep 16 04:45:01 PDT 1998
Every time one of these AOL wars start, the AOLers claim that there are a
few intelligent people on AOL and that our shunning of them based on
statistics is unjustified. We all know what the statistics are, but I
don't think anybody has done this for Cypherpunks yet. It has been done
other places. This isn't scientific with margins of error and everything,
but it's good enough to illustrate the point.
I went through every posting originating from AOL which was sent to
Cypherpunks between July and September 16th, which is today. I classified
postings as either "clueful" or "clueless," with the latter determined by
relevance to the list, literacy, quoting, and whether it makes any sense
at all. Anything completely stupid is also classed as "clueless."
"Clueful" is anything which is even remotely relevant to the list, and
includes quoted material if a followup.
In addition, if an AOL user sends something clueless to the list then gets
flamed, that posting and any subsequent postings in that thread by the
original author are counted as clueless unless it's an apology, at which
point it isn't counted at all. The flames of said user are counted as
defense, not as clueless. Also, if I looked at the message but couldn't
tell what the hell the author was talking about because he didn't bother
to quote, I classed the posting as clueless.
A "*" denotes that the portion I quote is the entire message. A "+"
denotes that there was either no quoted material in the message or that it
used the "<<>>" style. Keep in mind that messages which are original would
not have quoted material, but still have a "+". A "H" means that it
contained HTML. I removed all new lines from the quotes to make them more
compact. If the posting was large, I quoted only some parts.
Clueless posts from AOL:
1) "At least they have TCP/IP protocols now with Win 95 ex: Hiroshima
45, Tsjernobyl 86, Windows 95 (Please, correct my spelling if I
misspelled Tsjernobyl)" -- FTPPork at aol.com (Porker), 18 Aug 1998, (+)
2) "Ibelive by spooks he ment goverment agents not a racial slur so lay
off." -- ILovToHack at aol.com, 31 Aug 1998, (+*)
3) "judy -- how about let's go shopping first and then watch the show
remotely together????" -- Syniker at aol.com, 16 Jul 1998, (+)
4) "please i need some suggestions with topics for my informative speech,
or may some infromative speeches already outlined to use it for
refrence. thankyou." -- KMHAsfaha at aol.com, 17 Jul 1998, (*+)
5) "d" -- Saxgrim at aol.com, 18 Jul 1998, (*+)
6) "send me the book (e/mail me back" -- JackeI466 at aol.com, 19 Jul 1998,
(+*)
7) "Hello: My name is Enisa, I'm 13 years old. I write an online e-zine
that for teens. We have over 150+ members. We just started a few days
ago. We are looking for sponsors to sponsor our contests. These are
some of the things we are able to do for you..." -- Craz8Grl at aol.com,
20 Jul 1998, (+H)
8) "you got it?" -- LrdWill at aol.com, 20 Jul 1998, (+*)
9) "would love to see info re; international credit cards." --
TTrump5646 at aol.com, 21 Jul 1998, (+*)
10) "i would be very delighted if u gave me a free download for 5.0
realplayer.if u would send it to mike111495 at aol.com and
indoe29c at aol.com we will be very honored to receive them. thankx and
goodbye" -- Mike111495 at aol.com, 22 Jul 1998, (+*)
11) [A bunch of asterisks and screaming] "I was recently informed from
sorces who choose to remain annomous about a viri that uses macafe's
update tool to detect when it is found then it modifys its code and
forms a new strain of the virus this pattern continues although it has
only been tested through a clone of macafees server to 100 mutations
it looks like it could be a big problem I will inform you of any more
information i learn about it but for now "THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE""
-- ILovToHack at aol.com, 22 Jul 1998, (+*)
12) "WHY CANT I FIND ANY WHITE AMERICAN YOUTH ALBUMS ANYWHERE?" --
koitch at aol.com, 23 Jul 1998, (+*)
13) [Subject: Pipe bombs r better] "they rule!" -- Ant6menace at aol.com, 23
Jul 1998, (+*)
14) "Actually, AOL, along with being an acceptable ISP with built in
authentication of sender, has an easily used Mail interface. (Even if
it doesn't exactly follow the standards.)" -- MMerlynne at aol.com, 24
Jul 1998, (+*), in response to #12.
15) "HELLO, IS THERE ANY WAY TO GET MY HANDS ON S BOOK THAT SHOWS THE REAL
BASEBALL PEOPLE AUTOGRAPHS AND THE FAKES SO I KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR???
PLEASE REPLY" -- AT666IND at aol.com, 25 Jul 1998, (+*)
16) "I am trying to find my brother, "Allen Thomas Taylor" I am not sure
what year he was born but I think it was l922, l923. We have the same
Father[...]" -- CEr1942929 at aol.com (Christine Ernest), 26 Jul 1998,
(+)
17) "Hey: Who made up the term "Politically Correct"? Not Christians and
not Republicans. Your side did. How does wanting a smaller
government, less taxes, the freedom to CHOOSE to pray in schools, the
rights of the un-born( of[...] CHOKE ON IT YOU HYPOCRITE" --
JBrown4330 at aol.com, 27 Jul 1998, (+)
18) "do you have music vinyl stickers , if so , could i get them
wholesale?" -- Babybee390 at aol.com, 29 Jul 1998, (+*)
19) "I'm looking for Lynrd Skynrds Freebird on a window sticker for my
car. Do you know where I can find one?" -- Vox9869 at aol.com, 28 Jul
1998, (+*)
20) "More!" -- CLCTCHR at aol.com, 29 Jul 1998, (+*)
21) "Can you do a 5 color process? 4x4". Price on 500,1000,1500" --
ELarson100 at aol.com, 4 Aug 1998, (+*)
22) [Subject: whut up] "looking for a place to have some Band stickers
made, can you email me a phone number so we can check out some
prices.....thanks TIm" -- FRETELUCO at aol.com, 6 Aug 1998, (+*)
23) "Could you please send me the Anarchy Cookbook.....I really want it
and I cant find it anywhere! Thanx for your help.. Mike Jonhson" --
XoVoX123 at aol.com, 9 Aug 1998, (+*)
24) [Subject: .] "" (Yes, nothing.) -- EpicTeU at aol.com, 9 Aug 1998, (+*)
25) "Come on thake it easy on the guy at least he aint on AOL or somthing
stuped." -- ILovToHack at aol.com, 13 Aug 1998, ()
26) [Subject: Subject: LOL. Made me look] "" (Yes, nothing.) --
Seabiner at aol.com, 14 Aug 1998, (+*)
27) "about: Hello, I am trying to start a VB 32 bit code bank you can send
any code you want to exept codes for aol addons... . 1nce a week most
likely on fridays I will check the hotmail account specifyed below and
I will take all the codes and put them in a txt file and send it to
everyone who sent a code in since I am [...] To send Codes for the ML
Send E-mail to VB32Coders at Hotmail.com In the sbject field write
anonymous / Code topic if you don't want your E-Mail address to show
up when I send the Codes out or else just type the topic of the code
you are sending.. ." -- EpicTeU at aol.com, 14 Aug 1998, (+)
28) "Because the American Justice system is screwed up royally... for
instance - Kevin Mitnick... www.KevinMitnick.com" -- FTPPork at aol.com,
17 Aug 1998, (+*)
29) "I am interested in travel between Knoxville, Tennessee and Des
Moines, Iowa. I would also be interested in Nashville, Tennessee and
Des Moines, Iowa or Atlanta and Des Moines, Iowa. Please notify me of
specials in these markets. Thanks, Linda Tisue ltisue at aol.com" --
Ltisue at aol.com, 18 Aug 1998, (+*)
30) "I am looking to distribute a product and I was wondering if you can
tell me how to get mass e mail addresses. I look forward to hearing
from you." -- LHilley488 at aol.com, 19 Aug 1998, (+*)
31) "Send me info on how to make a pipe bomb. HoppyF1315" --
HOPPYF1215 at aol.com (Hoppy Head), 19 Aug 1998, (+*)
32) "I take that statement as an insult, and it really isn't true about
all of us AOL users. [...] Actually, some of us know what real hacking
is...[...] Anyway, try not to stereotype people so much, because, with
the Advent of 32 bit AOL, we can actually use all of the TCP/IP
protocols, etc..." -- FTPPork at aol.com, 20 Aug 1998, (+)
33) [Subject: anarchy cookbook] "Is any one home?" -- Spazherp at aol.com, 21
Aug 1998, (+*)
34) "I did not say anywhere that 32 bit would fix problems of cluelessness
- or ignorance in your case. I said, it is a little better because we
can now use TCP/IP protocols. Did I ever say that the people on AOL
were smarter because of it? Well, let's go read over that post - - -
nope... I didn't. I think some people should read a little more
carefully, or just don't read at all." -- FTPPork at aol.com, 22 Aug 1998,
(+*) (As I recall, this one was in response to a set of flames which
cited his assertion in #32.)
35) [Subject: can you help me make virses please tell me who to make one
step by step] "I need help i want to know how to make a virses in
c\c++ please help me." -- VXF32 at aol.com, 21 Aug 1998, (+*)
36) "Tell me how to get tons of free stuff! Thank You ." --
RAGOD5597 at aol.com, 21 Aug 1998, (+*)
37) "Here we go again" -- FTPPork at aol.com, 22 Aug 1998, (+*)
38) [Subject: tell me] "hola and good tidings send some info on spooks
please i will be grateful" -- RyanFord at aol.com, 29 Aug 1998, (+*)
39) [Subject: h] "how did u do it" -- CRBREW9802 at aol.com, 7 Sep 1998, (+*)
40) " HaCkaZ OnlY Da EliTeHelLO YaLL DiS is Da MaDD AAOOLL HaCka Ima
startin a GreWp fOR HaCs Only So In OthA WerDS yA gOttA KnOw The WAreZ
anD HoW toO UsEr FaTe AnD AOL So MaIl Or Im Me FoR Da TeTaIls If YeR
LeeTo K Pe at CE FrOmE The LeeTs HacKJeFFrO)" -- Jrjeffro at aol.com, 9 Sep
1998, (+*)
41) Message quoting the above, which wasn't originally sent to the list,
in "<< >>" style, adding only: "What the hell is this? No wonder why
AOLers have a bad name Im going to Flame this guy" -- EpicTeU at aol.com,
10 Sep 1998, (+*)
42) "Preach on brother =)" -- AIMSX at aol.com, 15 Sep 1998, (+*), copied to
25 other recipients, plus the list.
43) "I read that book" -- AIMSX at aol.com, 15 Sep 1998, (+*)
44) "All Creatures Great and Small - that one... =) I also read an Aasimov
a while back in fifth grade - unfortunately, I can't remember even the
name... I need to pick some of his books up again... One book I can
remember reading since 5th grade (and every summer thereafter) is "IT"
by Stephen King - one of his few really good books. I have read it 8
times since. I greatly recommend it =)" -- AIMSX at aol.com, 15 Sep 1998,
(+*)
45) "We are sending you an invitation to be one of our special guests this
year, big harry ass lawsuits are always of interest. Bring a friend
if you like, but I have to warn you, Liberatarians are not welcome.
This years menu includes red meat and poptarts. Clothing is optional.
Sincerely, Beth" -- BUFFU at aol.com, 17 Jul 1998, (+*)
46) "That's why I suggest listening to I Robot by Alan Parson's Project."
-- StanSqncrs at aol.com, 18 Jul 1998, (+*)
47) "If sombody offers you some FedGov, just say NO!" --
Nilsphone at aol.com, 23 Jul 1998, (), copied to 32 recipients, including
the list.
Note the "+" ratings on the below. (Semi-)Clueful postings from AOL:
1) "It's the easy way out (and I mean DOWN and OUT)! I mean, if we're
simply going to change them out everytime, why bother to figure out
which ones a going to change them out everytime, why bother to figure
out which ones aren't evil/stupid (I mean, out of all those
politicians, there's got to be 1 or 2! I think. ;-) )? See, if we just
simply change politicians at every chance, then we throw the baby out
with the bathwater, so to speak. The simple solutions aren't always
the best ones." -- StanSqncrs at aol.com, 17 Jul 1998, (+*)
2) "ROFLOL! What's coincidental? The latest tune that my band, Nobody's
Business (in which I play bass and sing) has learned, is Cheap
Sunglasses by ZZ Top. If it ain't coinicidence, I got a 'scarecrow' in
my band. " -- StanSqncrs at aol.com, 18 Jul 1998, (+)
3) [Subject: Subject: Nomination of Lyndon Larouche to the UNITED NATIONS
OF THE FRINGE] "Hey Punks, As a United Nations OF the Cyber Fringe
Member, I am asking for your input on giving Lyndon a nomination. So
far his war crimes only include[...]" -- BUFFU at aol.com, 20 Jul 1998,
(+)
4) "If you would like information about tempest monitors, computers,
printers or secure fax machines, please contact me." --
CompSec01 at aol.com (Karen Azoff), 22 Jul 1998, (+)
I gave up at this point because the clueless list just kept growing. The
ratio isn't encouraging, especially since I was being generous with what
is considered a "clueful post."
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