Once upon a time...

[Anonymous]

  ...there was an invisible Dragon who was afraid to breathe fire upon
a Cocksucker who thought he was a Prince, until the Dragon could be
certain that the fairy tale would only be told by those who had learned
to fear the Dragon.
  The Dragon intercepted the Cocksucker Prince's messages and broke
open their seals, in order to search for dirt underneath the fingernails
of the writer that may have fallen into the envelope, and use it to
denigrate his character among those who clean underneath their own
fingernails before flossing at the same time every day.

  The Dragon stole the Cocksucker Prince's writing instruments and
held his couriers hostage, in order to prevent him from completing
his messages to children who still wet their bed, and explain that
when they got tired of pissing all over themselves, that they not
only had the option of pissing up the ass of the monster that was
hiding under their bed, but could also piss in the monster's ear.
  The Dragon did this because pissing up the monster's ass was a
felony, and pissing in the monster's ear was only a misdemeanor.

  The Dragon was a slow-reader and didn't understand that those who
fail to learn from the Cocksucker Prince's fairy tale past are doomed
to repeat it...

AlreadyHadACorkInMyButtBeforeTheDragonGotItsDickOutMonger