I Hold These Truths To Be Self-Evident

[TruthMonger]

BASIC TRUTHS
Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some don't have film. 
A day without sunshine is like, night.
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy " until you find a rock. 
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. 
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be 
misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? 
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.