Fade to Gray... (Politically Correct)

[Anonymous]

A Caucasian cop pulls over an African-American in front of the house of
a person of Japanese ancestry.
The African-American and the person of Japanese ancestry, fearing for
their lives, begin shooting at the Caucasian cop. The cop shoots back,
killing both of them.

The city erupts in riots. The cop is charged with murder by a Hispanic
prosecutor and goes before a female judge and a mixed-race jury. The
jury finds the cop "Not guilty." so that they can get the channel remote
in the second riot, for the TV they got in the first riot.
  It turns out that the cop was once spanked, as a child, and he sues
the dead mens' insurance companies because the trial brought back his
repressed memories of the event.

Far above the city, a nuclear bomb falls from the bottom of a small
airplane. Strangely, all of the members of the CypherPunks list were
out of town that day.
Kent Crispin hears the voice come over the radio of his private plane,
warning him that he must land his plane immediately, or be shot down.
He looks out at the wing and notices, for the first time, that someone
has removed the identifying numbers from his plane.
Crispin looks at the printouts of CypherPunks posts sitting on the seat
beside him, and realizes that he is wearing a T-shirt with 4 lines of
Perl code for unexportable encryption.

Jim Bell looks up at the Men in Black who are interrogating him. A huge,
shit-eating grin begins to spread across his face.
"Kent Crispin?" he replies to their question. "Yeah. He's my best
friend. Why do you ask?"

<fade to grey>