Micro-Soft Humor

Jonathan Wienke JonWienk at ix.netcom.com
Thu Aug 21 21:35:41 PDT 1997



At 12:24 PM 8/21/97 -0600, Tim G. May BFD wrote:
>Tim G. May *DID*NOT* write:
>  "Imitation is the sincerest form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder."
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"I am your robot slave. Your whim is my obsessive compulsion."

Bill Gates dies.  He meets Peter at the Pearly Gates, and Peter gives Bill
the option of going to Heaven or Hell.  Bill asks if he can see what his
options are, and Peter offers to show Bill around Heaven and Hell, so Bill
can see which he likes better.  As Bill tours Heaven, he sees nice houses
and meets friendly people, but when he gets to Hell, he sees green fields
dotted with patches of trees, placid streams, and attractive women who are
not-so-subtly lusting after his body.  After the tour is over, Bill decides
that while Heaven is nice, maybe Hell is just a little bit nicer, so Peter
sends Bill off to Hell.

Three days later, Peter decides to go see how Bill is making out in Hell.
He finds him in a dank, squalid dungeon, manacled to a post, with one demon
using a cattle prod on his testicles, and a couple others slowly peeling
pieces of his skin off with blowtorches and machetes, and then dousing him
with concentrated salt water.  Bill is furious.  "You bastard!  What you
showed me was nothing like this!"  Peter replies, "I'm truly sorry.  I
didn't mean to deceive you. I just showed you the demo."


On their wedding night, Bill's wife finally realized where Bill got the
inspiration for his company name.

Jonathan Wienke

What part of "the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be
infringed" is too hard to understand? (From 2nd Amendment, U.S. Constitution)

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