"Voluntary" Bullshit

Anonymous nobody at REPLAY.COM
Wed Aug 6 18:51:31 PDT 1997

Kent Crispin didn't have any better sense than to write:
> When I said "voluntary" I meant
> voluntary, not some Orwellian variant of the word, OK?  
> Not "mandatory voluntary"

  I know what a "label" is. What is a "voluntary" label?
  A "voluntary" label is nothing more than a threat, plain and simple.
It is the first volley in a coming war of censorship.

  The town I live in sent me a form for paying a "voluntary" fine
for my dog running loose. I thought that was great. I sent them a
letter telling them I would pay my "voluntary" fine when I came in
for my "voluntary" execution.
  I'm old enough to know better, but I was still naieve enough to
be surprised when a gun-toting Mountie with handcuffs and mace and
two billy clubs dropped by to ask me when I was going to pay my 
"voluntary" dog fine. Sure enough, it turns out that if I fail to
pay the "voluntary" fine, a man with a gun comes with a summons 
requiring me to answer to the charge in the presence of the King.
{Not Elvis}
  I walked down to the city office with my dog, who came in and ran
around sniffing the Mountie and city employees as I paid their fine
for not cruelly imprisoning her. I asked how much I owed them for 
not beating her, too, but they just looked at me funny until I left.
  And this is a small country town, with "voluntary" stop signs.

  I think I'll get a knife or gun, climb through a bedroom window,
and find someone who wants to "voluntarily" have sex with me.
  "Ma'am, the reason I climbed through your window in the middle
of the night was to protect your children from inadvertantly
walking in and viewing the obscenity that's about to take place.
  "As a matter of fact, I think there is pending legislation to
_require_ you to have sex with me when I crawl through your
bedroom window in the middle of the night. It's for your own
protection, so that I don't have to bring a weapon, next time."

"I _choose_ to be an asshole."

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