One Big Telecoms Company

Dave Del Torto ddt at pgp.com
Thu Nov 14 19:08:55 PST 1996


In Reply to the Message wherein it was written:

[elided]
>If government monopolies can't hack it, what chance do private companies
>have?

Um, a _better_ one, now that government monopolies are largely out of the
way, leaving significant infrastructure for them to use? There's this one
little company called MCI, see, and there's this _other_ little company
called BT, and...

 {rrring-rrring}

Operator: "Thank you for using MonoTel: and how may we help you today?"
You:      "I'd like to place a call...?"
Operator: "And who would you like to call today, Sir?"
You:      "Uh, my big bother Sam in Washington, please. He's at 212, 555..."
Operator: "I see. Hrmm, let me see if management says it's OK for me to
           dial that number for you... please hold while I look up our
           policy on you calling your family."
 {long pause}
Operator: "Hello, Sir?
You:      "Um, yes, hello?"
Operator: "Um, Sir, have you paid your phone bill for today?"
You:      "Well, gee, I _think_ so... how much was it for today?"
Operator: "Well, our rates went up again at Noon, so that may account for
           the discrepancy. Let me connect you to our Loan Officer so you
           can arrange payment..."
You:      "No, PLEASE, I just need to call my brother, plea-"
Operator: {click... buzz... whirr}
Loan Ofcr:"Hello. Loan Department. May I please have your 20-bit
           customer fingerprint?"
You:      "Uh, sure. Let's see.... 01 D4 3E...{etc}...C2 0A."
Loan Ofcr:"OK, fine. Now, what can I do for you today, Sir?
You:      "Look, I just want to call my big brother Sam in DC, and they
           connected me to you instead..."
Loan Ofcr:"Oh, I see, and have you paid your daily bill today, Sir?"
You:      "Well, I THOUGHT I did. I went to the telephone, I inserted my
           MonoTel smartcard and I dialled the passcode. Then it sucked the
           card in and didn't give it back to me! I figured it was enough."
Loan Ofcr:"Well, it happens to allof us, Sir, don't feel bad. Now, what
           sort of collateral will you be putting up for this call? Do you
           own or rent?
You:      "Well, I used to own, but then I decided to add a modem line, so
           I had to refinance..."
Loan Ofcr:"Ahhh, so this will be a third or a fourth phone mortgage for
           you?"

   dave

____________________________________________________________________________
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________________________________________________________________________
Dave Del Torto                                      +1.415.65432.31  tel
Manager, Strategic Technical Evangelism             +1.415.631.0599  fax
Pretty Good Privacy, Inc.                        http://www.pgp.com  web








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