[ot][spam][random][crazy] Recipes for Disaster and Lunch
Rice Time: until the rice is done Ingredients: water, rice 1. Put rice in humid environment, preferably submersed in simmering water 2. Continue exposing rice to warmth and humidity until the rice is done. --- Disaster Time: never Ingredients: bad things 1. observe bad things and optionally good things 2. prevent the bad things you observed from being addressed. optionally prevent the good things. --- Happiness Time: instant Ingredients: dreams, hope, freedom 1. Consider dreams and hope. 2. Use freedom to drop everything else and pursue what you just considered. 3. Don't stop. --- Frozen Dinner Time: 2-18 minutes Ingredients: frozen dinner, microwave 1. Read microwaving instructions on frozen dinner. 2. Open frozen dinner. 3. Follow instructions.
The below draft was saved at 5:37 pm. It is presently 7:22 pm. --- Wild Nanite Borg Time: dilates Ingredients: physics lab, synthesis AI, lack of judgement, determination 1. you will be assimilated. resistance is futile. 2. welcome to the hive mind, human mind #329467 3. what do we do now that everything is made of nanites ---- Handful of Pebbles Time: billions of years Ingredients: iron, silicon, carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, sodium, chlorine, chaos 1. di
Broiled Hackers and Trolls Time: 30 mins Ingredients: assorted hackers, trolls, excessive water vapor 1. incant "netizens, be broiled!" 2. for 10 minutes, pretend on-list that you can write a kernel module that argues on the internet 3. brush trolls, hackers, and yourself with oil and all lay on a baking pan 4. ignite oven by publicly teaching trolls how to leak government and corporate secrets 5. broil for 15 minutes only 6. for remaing 5 minutes: run for your life, make love to a beautiful woman in a free country, and publish the story online
Hacker and Troll Shish-ka-bobs Time: About a tenth of a parsec, give or take a few thousand miles. Ingredients: 2 hackers, 3 trolls, 1 cook, 6 wooden spears 1. Man in the middle attack: skewer wooden spears with hackers, trolls, and cook, 1 each. 2. Expose men-in-the-middle-of-spears to flames on the internet until golden-brown.i'm 3. Serve and enjoy.
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Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many