the things we are exposed to can be far beyond human capacity to process with time and dissociation, we regrow some feelings and stumble on things that are on the edge of this emotional processing what does it mean to have murder in your community that could mysteriously change depending on compliance or such maybe it is no different if i die or if you, if i murder or if you do it is still murder if we cannot stop it, we can store evidence of it. - this puts the heart in a very hard place but maybe inspires a larger heart that takes great care in a very powerful way somewhere somehow