Cecilia, how are things going in your emotional life? Have you snugglehugged anyone you like recently? Have you seen the ocean, read any good books or comics, heard any wonderful music, or seen any other beautiful or cool things, like storms or fire or anime? Here is a joke: A stressed person walked into a bar. Luckily the long rectangular bar was made of fluffy pillows! They relaxed into the fluffy pillows. It's a pun on 'bar' =) I am living with my parents right now and they buy fruit and keep a fruit bowl stocked. My mother loves flowers and has many around the house, which she diligently waters. Most of her flowers are gifts from friends. I have a niece and nephew and their photographs are posted up. It is their birthday around near. They are both just children. Have you seen the stars or the moon recently? I used to love to sleep so that I would see them when I opened my eyes. It means risking getting wet or chilly as the weather turns, but it is so beautiful and comforting. Where have you traveled to recently? Are you staying somewhere you've visited in the past? Is there anywhere you haven't been recently you'd love to go? Something that has helped me a lot is breathing with my body. I breath in as I move in, then breathe out as I move out, and I can actually walk this way, in slow, deep steps, and move this way too: breathing in as I reach for something, breathing out as I touch it ... It can be very hard when stressed, but is always doable. Do you have a way to be alone where you are? Are you finding any kinds of peace? I didn't finish writing this; below are remaining notes; a quote from cecilia to this list from some time ago. --- I fall in love all the days. A puppy asking to play, a kitten purring, a new colorful flower, an interesting book, sweet people, kids playing, lovely songs, a comfortable tree... I like to hide myself in trees for reading and eating their fruits, hahaha!!! ;D I love potable water, ear plugs, sleep masks, taking baths and showers, and all the lovely smells. I also love my teddy bear. He was my Christmas gift when I was 5 years old and he still sleeps with me. On 2/6/21, Cecilia Tanaka <cecilia.tanaka@gmail.com> wrote:

Sorry, Mr. Young. It is true, I do swear.

---------- Loving. Caring. Sharing. Being Excellent To Each Other And To Our Hackerspace. <3 ---------- "Don't let anyone rob you of your imagination, your creativity, or your curiosity. It's your place in the world; it's your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live." - Mae Jemison

On Sat, Feb 6, 2021, 10:48 John Young <jya@pipeline.com> wrote:

...

Stick around, there have been onslaughts of repugnant creeps and geeks and misfits since cpunks beginning. They dump their shit then move on, a few come back with even stinkier droppings. Set your filter to trash, spamblock, kill the motherfuckers, well, not the last, that is the kind of narcissistic compliment they most beg for. Courtesy enrages and disempowers them, so keep that up.

A guide to the self-pleasuring, circle-jerking pseudonymous-needy bullies:

https://cryptome.org/2012/07/gent-forum-spies.htm

hello Cecilia, sounds like you're dealing with atrocious people; it happens in life. i can't make it better, but some things which may be useful in your efforts to remain sane: - keep track of antagonistic behaviors: who, what, when, where, how. this can help illuminate patterns in adversary tactics. - practice sousveillance; sometimes this will escalate things, but more often than not it is a useful exercise, showing those in power that truth is irrevocable; powerful. build your own ground truth. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sousveillance - find supportive communities. many activism camps have decades of experience dealing with adversity in all facets of life. it helps to know others have gone through similar trials, and the coping mechanisms they've developed may help you too. unfortunately cypherpunks is not a good community in this sense - too disperse, too adversarial, too punkish ;) - don't react with violence out of anger. a common technique is to push you toward outbursts and violence. if you give in, they win. it's cheap and dirty tactics, but often effective. find an outlet for all of the stress, anxiety, depression that comes your way. good luck! remember: this too will pass... best regards, :)