[spam][wrong] bad jokes
I went to buy a chair from Microsoft. I was excited that they had a chair for sale. It was a cushion on a pair of legs, but inbetween the cushion and the legs of the chair was something labeled "seat" that appeared to be a conglomerate of ridiculously overengineered crap held up by other ridiculous overengineered crap as deep as the eye could see, powered by a datacenter on the moon. I think there was an x86 assembly interpreter written in visual basic in there somewhere, holding up the seat cushion. Still, I was happy to have a chair. Then I needed a pencil, so I went to Apple. I was excited that they had a pencil for sale. It was a graphite rod with thick yellow paint around it, but between the yellow paint and the graphite rod was something labeled "wood and erasor" that appeared to be a conglomerate of ridiculously overengineered crap held up by other ridiculous overengineered crap as deep as the eye could see, powered by a datacenter on the moon. I think there was an entire purpose-built operating system in there, somewhere, that seemed to be used just to make the edges of the wood and eraser rounder. Still, I was happy to have a pencil. Then I needed a paperclip, so I went to the open source and free software community. I was excited that the open source and free software community had a paperclip. They didn't even charge money for it, they just asked me to press some special buttons on a keyboard until it built itself. It was a wire of steel with a bend at one and and a bend at the other, and between the two bends was something labeled "middle of steel wire" that appeared to be a conglomerate of ridiculously overengineered crap held up by other ridiculously overengineered crap as deep as the eye could see, powered by a small handful of nerds who seemed impossible to get in contact with but were able to bend reality to your will if you did. I think there was an entire purpose-built scripting language in there, that ended up only being used to call out to shell functions to make sure that the paperclip was bent at just the angle I configured it to be. Still, I was happy to have a paperclip. Then I needed a coffee mug coaster, so I went to Goo ...
I would ideally also criticise google via the same formula. I wrote this when I realised I had to install a rust compiler, in order to install the python magic wormhole package. The example is not fair, as it's mostly a packaging issue. Classic free software is actually generally pretty slim and purpose-oriented, aside from some major huge packages here and there. But when you get off your rocker enough, you start thinking that everything is wrong in some way.
Red 3: "I am almost to the fridge to get a sandwich, but the neighbor's AI is spawning robots out of it when I approach. The robots say I need to go to the store and buy coke instead." Blue 4: "Okay, stop approaching the fridge. Do the robots spawn more slowly?" Red 3: "Yes, their spawning has slowed, but they are still spawning." Blue 4: "Back away from the fridge. Do they stop spawning?" Red 3: "They have stopped spawning. The ones that already spawned are following me, persisting with the requests to buy Coke." Blue 4: "You can sort this out, soldier. The squad needs this sandwich." Red 3: "Are you sure you don't want a coke instead?"
Blue 4: "What now. How can a sandwich be this hard to get?" Red 3: "Well, I went to the store, where the robots wanted me to go. They also have sandwiches there." Blue 4: "Did you buy one?" Red 3: "Went I started walking toward the sandwich fridge the robots spawned everywhere and pushed me and the storekeeper and all the customers out. The store is being turned into some kind of robot nexus now." Blue 4: "How do they expect you to buy coke if they kick you out of the store where it's sold?"
----- Robot Nexus. Has sign over front saying "Genneral Store". The word "General" has a sign hung over it saying "Coke". Kid with walkie talkie: "Hello, this used to be the general store? I would like to buy a sandwich." Robot: "Do you buy coke? We don't serve to sandwiches here."
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Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many