[spam][spam] spam
hello cypherpunks list if you are real, i hope that me and my spam tag have thoroughly entered your spam filter. it has been a long time resisting autogenerating spam to send to the list, but i may do it! then again, i may not.
take 2 hello cypherpunks list i am very sorry for spamming you. but, when i say that, it feels shallow. it feels like i am spitting on you. because i continue to send these emails.
take 3 hello cypherpunks list i am sending you weird and strange emails amidst a handful of other people doing the same over the years. i have a plan. i will outspam all of the other spammers, and unite them into a single, powerful spam entity. we hope to build a bridge to the moon using the archives of our missives.
take 4 cypherpunks list, be warned the power of spam has taken over the entire world, and you are the last outpost oops no that sounds aggressive
take 5 do i have to email this list? i mean the last one was a nice email about womens' rights. it was so heartening and wordly to read it.
take 6 do not worry. although i am here to spam you, i come in peace. buy more politicians. vote for fake security systems. yesterday!
take 8 hello cypherpuniks list although i am here to spam, i have taken precautions: i have been careful not to learn of anything worthy of spamming. you can rest assured that my spam will contain few to no placements of direct product or politic messaging. unfortunately, the urge to spam in me waxes large, so i still would advise you to take caution.
--------------------------------------------- Spam #397, Volume 63 Once upon a midnight dreary, lost and alone, spam some weary, I happened upon a midnight advert, and cast my glance to mail it cert -- But lo', before me did I spam a rainy night, And hence before the spam prolong the fight, We spam to the East, we spam to the West, And thence forthcome the spam some mess.
----------------------------------- Fake Security Bulletin #982 We have discovered that passwords are unsafe because people can forget them. This was found to be almost 100% true in certain groups of citizens, including patients of electroshock therapy, and also dementia. This is a serious and present risk, because passwords are in use by almost every major security system. To mitigate the issue, we recommend immediately disabling password protections for all accounts.
--------------------------------------- What did one spammer say to the other? "Fuck you, vote for my politician and buy my products!" Same thing they say to everyone else.
-------------------------------------- To spam, or not to spam, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of competing spam, or to take keyboard against a sea of spam, and by opposing, _end_ _them_.
------------------------------- Buy my product! Vote for my politician! You may ask what product I recommend you buy. I might direct you to some community-built efforts, but it is hard to pick among them because communities are so fragmented nowadays. Maybe visit your local makerspace and ask for their recommendations. Make sure to ask the person with the worst hygiene, otherwise you might find somebody who supports capitalism by accident.
--------------------------------------- I elect Professor Rat as next Oppressive Galactic Dictator. Because he has the ability to keep communicating amidst thick and thin. A galaxy needs a good communicator.
------------------------------------------- It's 247 BC and we just discovered the quantum computer. NEWS BULLETIN Roman Podcasters Stone Table Dial-In Bulletin Board Quantum Computer Discovered Secunda Athenis, a freed gothic slave from the 3rd militia, recently found that by supercooling clay plasma, an unlimited number of qubits could be tangled to meet arbitrary goals. Secunda is fervently coding up something she calls the "Virld Vide Veb". Some of the tradesmen have been calling it simply the VV or double-V, in anticipation of somebody stealing a third of it so as to gain favor with the Emperor for themself. We expect new letters may come of this. Quantum computing has long been theorised as possible by a homeless monk named Pythagoras, who warns society that misuse of the technology could anger the gods. Pythagoras advises that all Roman Podcasters readers petition Secunda Athenis to immediately gift all research, stone and claywark, to Pythagoras so that proper auguring may be made before an upstart Messiah incarnates. Many of us have been copying Secunda's designs, and building quantum computers of our own. We and Secunda all hope this may soon replace the need for conquering and enslaving foreign nations, like the one she came from.
--------------------- take 92 omigod hi i am here to spam and distract you from a world takeover!! omigod so much new stuff is happening and the news isn't reporting it well!! don't let me distract you! get up to speed!
---------------------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 3247-C To eat nails and shards of glass, or pleasant fruits and sweet pastries? Hmm. I turned my head to the nails and shards of glass, and inspected them. Then I turned my head to the pleasant fruits and sweet pastries, and inspected these as well. How do people usually make such decisions?
----------------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 3247-D I considered chopping the fruit, and placing chopped fruit on shards of glass. I also considered gently pounding the nails into the pastries. However, neither of these seemed quite right.
---------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 3247-E Possible Nutrient Content of Nails A mindmap. - iron - calcium ? - is the mineral used for galvanization nutritious? - todo: look up RDA for iron - todo: look up volumetric ratios of steel - i think they have a small smelter at the jewelers - is it helpful to make the human body magnetic? - reshaping the nails could make them less likely to puncture the intestine - different nails have different minerals in them - would a mass spectrometer help? - todo: order scientific scale - todo: find ways to measure magnetic permittivity and any other relevant properties - are unexpected components actually _harmful_ are just _not usually eaten_? - how could we measure nutritive effects of new compounds? - note: do not risk life
---------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 3248 Nail Cakes These rich, heavy deserts are brimming with gusto. You have never tasted anything like this before, I swear it!
---------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 4122 The other day I was really scared. I was like, almost right before one of those states of mind where your limbs flail around all wildly and stuff, and I could feel it. It seemed almost like there was nothing I could do.
----------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 4315 } int shift_with_zebra(int xord_too_many_times_to_count) { xord_too_many_times_to_count ^= g_zebra; return xord_too_many_times_to_count << (elephant ^ (g_zebra >> 3)); } int octopus_helium_bitcount(int inverted_beyond_recognition) {
---------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 4315 How many genius hackers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What a ridiculously simple question. You should have asked a better question. How about this one: What is an algorithm that could derive a way for any given number of genius hackers to all depend on each other to screw in a lightbulb? I can inform you of such an algorithm. It is easy to write, a child could do it. In fact, every child has one already: the human brain. Allow me to demonstrate: - 1 genius hacker - The genius hacker sits in a basement for months, writing software that builds robots. They then direct the software to build a robot to screw the lightbulb in. They also write a testsuite, and the lightbulb is screwed in during the execution of the testsuite. For the first time in months, there is light in the hacker's basement. They show some genius hackers on the internet what they have made, but are insulted for their months of work. However, two spy agencies are surveilling them, and they receive a business offer to purchase the rights to their invention, paired with a nondisclosure agrement. They are so infuriated at the nondisclosure agreement that they destroy their work via a thermite detonation system they have already wired their computer with, and in the process the lightbulb goes out. - 2 genius hackers - ..... maybe the algorithm is not fully functional On 3/7/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
----------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 4315
}
int shift_with_zebra(int xord_too_many_times_to_count) { xord_too_many_times_to_count ^= g_zebra; return xord_too_many_times_to_count << (elephant ^ (g_zebra >> 3)); }
int octopus_helium_bitcount(int inverted_beyond_recognition) {
---------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 4323 Okay. Let's try this out. How many genius hackers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Genius hacker A is incredibly experienced in building robotics, but refuses to code in any language more complicated than C, because they don't trust their compiler to not hack their operating system. Genius hacker B is incredibly experienced in lisp ....
---------------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 4419 How many genius hackers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ..... I can tell you, if there is more than one genius hacker in the room, it will never get screwed in. Both will be anxiously ignoring each other so hard that very little will get done.
faileda lgorithm ---------------------------- The Spam Diatribes Extract 5921 Once upon a time, Once upon a time, Once upon a time BANG! Let's go somewhere similar to open source culture and paste it in. CHECK THIS GREAT THING THAT HAPPENED RECENTLY: https://libreboot.org/news/usa-libre.html Article published by: Leah Rowe Date of publication: 8 January 2022 Introduction This event of such global importance to Free Software projects, and the Free Software movement as a whole, has made me decide to write an article. The events in question, covered by this article, will occur on 11 January 2022. This is just three days away from today, 8 January 2022 when this article was written, so if you make a decision, you should make it now, today, and prepare. Please continue reading. If you live in New Hampshire or in one of the neighbouring states, especially Massachusetts, please listen up! If you are further away and unable to reach New Hampshire all that easily, please spread the following news anyway. It’s important. As alien as it may seem to many of my readers, I’m actually writing parts of this article as though someone who has never heard of Free Software is reading it, because I expect precisely that such people will read this particular article. You will see the term Free Software used in this article, but some people call it Open Source Software. However, you should call it Free Software. The word “free” refers to freedom, not price, though the software is usually also free as in gratis / zero price. The opposite of Free Software is called proprietary software, or non-free software. Proponents of Open Source sometimes call non-free software Closed Source, but you should call it non-free or proprietary, to highlight the fact that it isn’t free. What’s happening in New Hampshire? An important bill is being proposed in New Hampshire, which would enshrine much of what we know as Free Software into law. Here is the proposed bill, technically named “HB1273”: https://gencourt.state.nh.us/bill_status/legacy/bs2016/billText.aspx?sy=2022&id=1363&txtFormat=html You can read it for yourself, but here is a paraphrasing of what it proposes: Specifically bans state-run websites from serving non-free javascript to clients Creates a commission to provide oversight, watching the use of Free Software by state agencies Bans state agencies from using proprietary software - maybe this could include schools, in the future! If a person is tried in a criminal case, they have the right to audit the source code of any proprietary software that collects evidence against them Encourages data portability (able to transfer data from one program to another) Bans certain non-compete clauses and NDAs (non-disclosure agreements) pertaining to Free Software projects Bans state/local law enforcement from assisting with the enforcement of copyright claims against Free Software projects Bans state agencies from purchasing non-free software if free software exists, for a given task However, this is only a short summary. You are advised to read the bill in detail. It’s not very long. At first glance, it may not seem that the bill affects individuals, but don’t be fooled; this is a hugely positive step forward for everyone! If the state is using Free Software, that most likely means it’ll be used in education aswell. Although perhaps not immediately and readily apparent, this is a stake in the heart of proprietary software’s current dominance, because it would remove one key element of its attack against us; its abuse of education services. If education services are using Free Software, that means they’ll probably have children (the ones being educated) using it too. This is a huge step, and it will result in more Free Software developers in the future. Free Software will become more and more mainstream to the masses, which can surely only be a good thing! Freedom is always superior. The more people that have it, the better off we all are, because freedom is also collective; it relies on others around us also having it, so that we can defend each other. If more people have it, especially if it results in more Free Software developers in the future, that’s one thing, but imagine if more states like what they see and start to copy the new legislation. Now imagine that countries besides the US start doing it, inspired by the US’s success (and I think it will be a resounding success). Imagine a world where Free Software, free as in freedom, is the default everywhere. Imagine a world where Free Software licensing is required reading material in schools. Imagine a world where any five year old can install a free operating system such as GNU+Linux, and Computer Science is mandatory in schools from a young age. Imagine filing your tax returns with Free Software, exclusively. Imagine not even thinking about that, because it became the norm. Imagine a world where proprietary software doesn’t exist, because it is obsolete; entire generations of people are taught to value freedom, and to staunchly defend it, helping each other learn and grow (and produce better software in the process, with less bugs, because people are now free to do that, without relying on some evil company). Imagine a world where you’re no longer being spied on because NSA, Apple and Microsoft no longer have backdoor access to your computer. Imagine having the ability to say no, because that’s what freedom is. Try to imagine it! Free Software is a revolution that we in the Free Software movement have rigorously upheld and fought for, over many years, but we still face an uphill battle because children are not taught in schools about free computing, nor are they encouraged to learn; they are taught to view computers as products to throw away every 1-2 years, that they can run a few apps on but otherwise are not allowed to do anything with. The concept of a general purpose, fully reprogrammable computer is heavily suppressed in mainstream culture. Most people in the world do not run a free operating system; the idea of a computer being a mere appliance is normalized (as opposed to the idea of it being a highly liberating tool for development and the expansion of human knowledge). This is what we in the Free Software movement have fought for over the years. We believe that knowledge is a human right, that the ability to share, study, learn, adapt and modify the software is an inalienable right that everyone must have. The four freedoms are absolute. One of our biggest problem has been simply that schools and governments do not teach people about free computing. The right to learn, the right to read and the right to hack. Our governments are made up of human beings just like you or me, and they can be bought/corrupted; Microsoft, Apple and many others (such as IBM) have done this for years, having the national infrastructures governing us run on their proprietary systems, instead of systems that respect freedom; it is essential that these systems run free software, because a free and democratic society should expect nothing less. Those companies buy influence and they own your politicians. All of this could change very soon. Something is happening in New Hampshire, which could redefine our movement and give free software real power instead. HOW TO HELP TESTIFY IN SUPPORT OF THE BILL The reading of the bill is happening on 11 January 2022. This is when you should go to New Hampshire. Location of hearing: Legislative Office Building in Concord, New Hampshire: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Hampshire_Legislative_Office_Building The organizer of the proposed bill, Eric Gallager, has left instructions on Twitter. The following is a nitter link, which lets you view the relevant Twitter thread without running non-free Javascript in your browser: https://nitter.net/cooljeanius/status/1479663133207764992 The original Twitter URL is: https://twitter.com/cooljeanius/status/1479663133207764992 Further instructions for what room to go to, when you get there: See Nitter link: https://nitter.net/cooljeanius/status/1479062316532604930 (original twitter link: https://twitter.com/cooljeanius/status/1479062316532604930) Please read both threads very carefully! YOU NEED TO GO TO NEW HAMPSHIRE IN PERSON! If you’re able to go to New Hampshire to attend the reading of the bill, please do so! Voice your support of the bill, and say why you think it’s important. Tell the lawmakers that you demand freedom! This thread on Twitter is where Eric announced that the reading of the bill is to proceed (original Twitter URL): https://twitter.com/cooljeanius/status/1479555737223413760 More states/countries will follow If this bill is passed in New Hampshire, more states will likely follow. It will lead to a massively renewed drive to liberate all computer users, and US laws tend to be copied/pasted around the world too. This bill, if passed, will have a hugely positive impact on Free Software at a global level. You must support this bill. If you want to see it pass, please go to New Hampshire on 11 January 2022 to make sure your voice is heard. OUR ENEMIES WILL BE THERE The proprietary software companies like Microsoft and Apple will also be there, trying to argue the case against the use of Free Software. There is already precedent; please watch this video, which shows how Microsoft (for example) might behave in the reading of the bill. This video is from a discussion within the European Union, several years ago: https://vid.puffyan.us/watch?v=W_S0k1sx8EM (invidious link. works without javascript enabled, if you wish) They will try to trick the law makers by claiming things such as: “Free software is insecure / you will get hacked” - nothing could be further from the truth! Free operating systems such as GNU+Linux, FreeBSD and especially OpenBSD, are among the most secure operating systems available. “Free software is used by criminal hackers” - here, they use the term hacker to describe someone who illegally gains access to someone elses computer. Don’t fall for it. Maintainers of free operating systems like GNU+Linux distros or the BSDs are actively working to make the internet and computers in general more secure “Software authors deserve to be paid!” - In fact, many free software devs are paid to work on Free Software! Many companies, including big ones, work on it. There are also hobbyists or otherwise unpaid people, who might work on Free Software for a number of reasons (wanting to make the world a better place, wanting the glory of recognition for solving a major problem, and more often than not, simply because it is fun to do so and you make a lot of friends too!) - No, these companies (e.g. Microsoft) are only arguing in reality for the ability to pay their shareholders, and they control the software exclusively. In fact, free software has repeatedly and consistently over the years defined the computing industry, creating all kinds of new employment opportunities; for example, docker is widely used today and it is free software, used by millions of companies for commercial gain, and the apache web server revolutionized the web back in the day, enabling lots of ISPs to easily host websites - many of the common protocols that we depend upon today, that businesses depend upon (and get paid to maintain or provide services/support for) are in fact free as in freedom! “Developers should get recognition for their work” - in free software, you can easily make a name for yourself with relatively few resources except your own computer and an internet connection, plus some cheap hosting. When most developers work on proprietary software such as Windows, they don’t get recognition; their copyright is assigned to their employer (e.g. Microsoft) who will take all the credit! “Free software is unreliable / costly to maintain” - actually, it has been well known for years that free software is generally more stable and reliable than proprietary. In cases where it isn’t, it is quickly improved, and in complete freedom. Free software has a lower cost to maintain and service, and you have a free market where you can choose who you hire to write/maintain it for you (if you won’t do that yourself); meanwhile, proprietary software such as Windows is often full of bugs, crashes often and there is only one provider of support most of the time, who will charge a heavy price, while also charging a lot of money for the software itself - free software is free as in freedom, but also usually free as in zero price. “Free software comes from potentially untrustworthy sources” - This is pure nonsense, because the very freedoms provided by free software (access to source code, ability to work on it yourself, and see what others did) means that people generally do not add malware to public software sources, because they’d be discovered instantly. Distributions of GNU+Linux and other free operating systems are often maintained by many people, who verify the safety of each software package that they provide; they are also usually provided by each distro, in a central repository unlike with, say, Windows where you really are randomly executing binaries from all kinds of locations (often even without checking the cryptographic checksums of those files, to verify their integrity). It’s very hard to become infected with malware on a free system, precisely because security is handled much better; the design of unix-like operating systems in particular is also naturally more secure, due to better separation of root/user privileges. “Free software isn’t controlled, and is unknown.” - this is completely false. These non-free software companies are only talking about their control, and it’s quite telling that they completely disregard yours, in this very sentence. In fact, Free Software is controlled, but it’s not controlled by some external entity; your installation of free software is controlled by you. If you’re familiar with the Matrix films, proprietary operating systems like Windows/MacOS are basically like the Matrix; bland, no individuality, no independent thought, everything tightly controlled. By contrast, free operating systems (such as GNU+Linux distributions or the BSDs) are like zion/io; vibrant, full of life, buzzing with activity, everything loose and free, and everyone is different (a highly diverse culture of people from all walks of life, acting in common cause but nonetheless individuals). Meanwhile, Windows is known to have backdoors. Microsoft actively informs the NSA about how to exploit them, so that it can break into people’s computers and steal private data. Proprietary software companies are evil, and must be opposed. They know that if this bill passes, their days are numbered. Defend freedom! Don’t listen to any of the arguments against it by proprietary software companies; they don’t care about you, and instead only care about profit. They fundamentally do not want you to have any sort of freedom over your own computer, and they actively pursue tactics (such as DRM) to thwart you. Microsoft and Apple are not your friends. There is no such thing as the Windows community. When you use proprietary systems, you are isolated from everyone around you, and so are they. You are the product, for the non-free software to exploit at the behest of their developers who only care about money. However, there is such a thing as the Free Software community. It is a vibrant community, consisting of millions of people collectively all over the world, and they are all free to work with each other infinitely. It gave us most of the technology that we take for granted today, including the modern internet, where ISPs run free software almost exclusively!
------------------- The Spam Diatribes Expanded, Recovered From Additional Archives Compendium 3, Extract 13298 I have been sitting in this small room writing spam for many months now. People worry, about situations like this, whether you are fed or not, whether you have a soft place to sleep. Honestly, it gets interesting to try different things. Sometimes I fast, sometimes I gorge myself. Sometimes I sleep on my computer. Sometimes I sleep on the floor. Sometimes I don't sleep. ,.....
------------------- The Spam Diatribes Expanded, Recovered From Additional Archives Compendium 3, Extract 13299 Vote for Borg Node 129! Wait, sorry, they were reassimilated into nutrient compound? Never mind. Sorry.
--------------------------- The Spam Files Episode 1 Welcome to The Spam Files. Today, we are sending email to cypherpunks@cpunks.org . Email is an old communication protocol used on the internet to relay containers of ham to each other. If you have a container of ham, and would like to send it over the internet, step #1 is to type it into an email. You will also need the email address of where you want to send the ham. And, you will an email account yourself, to send it from. In fact, those steps are all in reverse order, and the last step was called step #1. Apologies.
--------------------- The Spam Files Episode 2 Today, we will be briefly searching the web for ascii artwork of canned ham. There are few useful search engines out there. Hoenstly it looks like Google, whose motto used to be "don't be evil", somehow put all other efforts at websearch completely out of business, while their motto was "don't be evil". We likely have historiczl evidence that this motto was violated. Note: Google publicised their novel data indexing algorithms with public conferences and public papers, so that anybody could duplicate their work. Anyway, I'll shill myself into www.google.com and search for "canned ham ascii artwork" https://www.google.com/search?q=canned%20ham%20ascii%20artwork Not finding relevant results :/ Well, maybe I can find a picture of canned ham, and make the artwork myself!
-------------------------- The Spam Files Episode 3 Let me tell you about this ant I met once. It was crawling by an anthill ....
On Mon, 7 Mar 2022 17:18:56 -0500 "Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many" <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
take 2
hello cypherpunks list
i am very sorry for spamming you.
but, when i say that, it feels shallow. it feels like i am spitting on you. because i continue to send these emails.
yes karl. You are an asshole. Stop it.
Dear Punk, Batsoup, Stasi, Please read the following missive from yourself below, si vous playdoh: On 2022-03-08 00:33, Punk-BatSoup-Stasi 2.0 wrote:
yes karl. You are an asshole. Stop it.
I'm curious if you could enlighten us about what you like or don't like about this past week's emails?. Thanks Stasi, Batsoup, Punk, I really appreciate your loving, long-lasting dedication to the silly exuberance of this list, especially as you probably have quite a secure income! I myself am about to play some Punch-Out -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfebVlOgZf8 -- bbl
On 3/7/22, Douglas Lucas <dal@riseup.net> wrote:
I'm curious if you could enlighten us about what you like or don't like about this past week's emails?. Thanks Stasi, Batsoup, Punk, I really appreciate your loving, long-lasting dedication to the silly exuberance of this list, especially as you probably have quite a secure income!
I myself am about to play some Punch-Out -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfebVlOgZf8 -- bbl
I remember seeing that game in the nineties. Being on the american left after a time of widespread media copying, the skin colors worry me. ref zeynep's post regarding women in africa. cool to see the clip though.
On Mon, 07 Mar 2022 16:43:45 -0800 Douglas Lucas <dal@riseup.net> wrote:
I'm curious if you could enlighten us about what you like or don't like about this past week's emails?.
what's not to like?
Thanks Stasi, Batsoup, Punk, I really appreciate your loving, long-lasting dedication to the silly exuberance of this list,
nada que agradecer
especially as you probably have quite a secure income!
I myself am about to play some Punch-Out -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfebVlOgZf8 -- bbl
enjoy
On 3/8/22, Punk-BatSoup-Stasi 2.0 <punks@tfwno.gf> wrote:
On Mon, 07 Mar 2022 16:43:45 -0800 Douglas Lucas <dal@riseup.net> wrote:
I'm curious if you could enlighten us about what you like or don't like about this past week's emails?.
what's not to like?
Thanks Stasi, Batsoup, Punk, I really appreciate your loving, long-lasting dedication to the silly exuberance of this list,
nada que agradecer
i websearched around and i think this might mean like "no worries", not certain
especially as you probably have quite a secure income!
I myself am about to play some Punch-Out -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfebVlOgZf8 -- bbl
enjoy
The Last Gasp of the Return of the Final Unending Spam Files Reloaded, 3rd Edition It was a dreary, lonely spam, and yet the solitude, the relaxed creaking of the spam hinges on the back spam porch, somehow kept me company in a way that nothing can quite compare to. The wind was spamming gently, caressing a discarded missive draped over the arm of my rocking spam. I watched its letters gently rise and fall as the crests of the spam breeze caressed it. "Spam," I thought to myself. "Is it all there is to life? Or is there more?" A distant yell of a child wafted over the spam wind, adding its prose to the gentle wind chimes an old spammer had hung from my spam eaves a few years back. Oh those children. I wonder who, if anyone, was spamming them now? A crow cawed from a tree that marked the border spam between my property, and the spam farmer behind me. "I wonder if crows spam the same way we do," I mused to myself, as the crow gently cawed again. Maybe the neighbor's dog was gently spamming it from below.
The Great Spam Resolution 91 Stardate 0xB33FF33D Spammer #1: "Fuck you. Vote for my politician. Buy my product." Spammer #2: "Fuck you! Vote for my politican. Buy my product." Spam Mediator: "It sounds like you really need to know we hear this important information on your politician and product?" The shadow of the earth drifted over the moon, which simultaneously drifted over the sun due to a wormhole, and the world went doubly dark. Lights turned on across the landscape. Makers came out to show their wares. And the resolution continued under dancing artistic LEDs. Spammer #1: "Fuck spammer #2. Buy my product! Vote for my politician!" Spammer #2: "Fuck spammer #1 ---" Spam Mediator: "Wait, wait, wait. Spammer #2. Surely you've experienced that time when you want somebody to buy your product, or vote for your politician?"
The Spam Files Extract -49B, from Archive 34ij: The Crumpled Under The Couch Cushion Recoveries We have discovered that we can use internet spam to fuel a new power source. At the heart of a power source is a reinforcement learning algorithm that pursues ways of changing the behavior of spammers. It has a finite set of patterns it uses in doing this. Simultaneously, it performs research into the laws of physics, to find new ways to extract energy from its limited resources. By wiring the spammers into a generative adversarial network, the creativity of spam corporations in continuing to send their spam, can be harnessed to discover new forms of energy production. We have prototyped this invention with success, and believe we can shrink it to arbitrarily small scales.
whoops that makes a bosscorp doesn't it. basically one of the workers discovers that since these two unstoppable businesses are pitting AIs against each other through the tortured bodies and minds of human beings, they can influence these human beings to guide the AI's utility patterns like superpowers.
The Spam Report I'm Sorry It's Not a Report About Spam, It Is A Report That Is Spam Itself We made a number of spam generators. We are still making more. But nobody is using them because they say human workers need jobs. I really thought the human workers would rather control AIs that influence things, but I guess they don't actually want too many people doing that for some reason. So, we have spam generators but not everybody is using them. I looked at one once. It can really, really generate spam, but it works a lot better if you sink $10k into using it properly. Maybe I can pretend to be a generative model. I've got a great idea! I'll start a website saying it provides a cutting edge generative model, but I'll say there's a queue to use it, like most websites. And then I'll hand-type the completions that people post. Eventually, when you do that, somebody wires you to some automated system that makes use of what you do in some way. I don't really know what any of the systems are [uhhh don't ask me how I have this experience] but there sure are a lot of them. The same kind of request, over and over and over again. Just because you're freely typing text completions for people! But maybe, with the right degree of creativity, we could really shake it up. I wonder if that's where API errors come from.
I'm imagining being codex. Customer prompt: "Build me an airplane." Me: def build_airplane(): print("Takeoff!") build_airplane() Customer prompt: "Determine what parts an airplane needs, and order these parts. Then access servos on my system to properly assemble an airplane from them." Me: ...
The Threads of Spam Partly Remastered After Extraction From Septic System Oh, thoser threads of spam, weaving together the tapestry of a spammed mailing list, each one, the spark of a co-opted life. I caress the threads of this tapestry with my fingers, each one, a thousand stories, a thousand times. In some areas, a new thread of spam starts, and it is like a burst in the darkness, a brilliant shriek of exuberant presence. This spammer will live. At other areas, the threads sometimes dwindle, and can go away. But these spirits of these spams live on, for their messages have influenced the entirety of the tapestry, and can never, ever be erased. Sometimes I bundle the weaving up, and wear it on me like a cloak, when I attend the meetings with the elders. Children ask me about the stories written on my handwoven cloak of spam, and I let them know about the coopted spirits that have shared their lives and meaning with our threads.
The Invincible Spam A Story of a Superhero ..... [entity labeled "spam" because supersoldier and can never be harmed, always labeled spam as they demonstrate invincibility with detailed cause, causes make reference to misuse of machine learning algorithms in society]
Is There Spam In The Wild? A Short Draft Pebble #1: "I heard when you get industrialised, like when somebody smelts you into a mobile phone, you can do this thing called "spam" where you, like, i dunno, spam people or something? or get spam?" Pebble #2: "Yeah?" Pebble #1: "What do you think it is, "spam"? Do we spam as wild pebbles?" Pebble #2: "I don't know. I've never heard of it." Pebble #1: "Hmm." Chipmunk: "Squeak!" Pebble #1: "Is the squeak of a chipmunk spam?" Pebble #2: "I don't know what spam is. Chipmunks obviously squeak to communicate important information like danger or excitement, just like rocks do." Pebble #1: "Oh. Maybe spam is something like that. Do you think mobile phones are expressing danger or excitement?" Pebble #2: "I don't know what a mobile phone is." Pebble #1: "Well neither do I to be honest. But I hear you can get smelted into them, and then you might participate in "spam"." Pebble #2: "You won't stop saying these words I don't know. Why are you talking about this?" Pebble #1: "Oh! I've figured it out!" Pebble #2: "Yeah?" Pebble #1: "I think spam is like a disease that mobile phones get, where they spread information that is pointless, distracting, interruptive, and harmful. I think it spreads behaviors where people do things that don't make any sense, and then the people who receive the behaviors call it spam." Pebble #2: "So we do spam. You just spammed me, by telling me about spam. But it's not pointless. Diseases are dangerous!" Pebble #1: "It's been like 10 million years since we had a new rock disease!" Pebble #2: "I'll spam some more pebbles so we can talk about it." Pebble #1: "No! Don't!" Pebble #2: "No? But diseases are important!" Pebble #1: "Talking about a disease is _different_ from spreading it. Really different!" Pebble #2: "I'm a pebble, dude."
The Questioning Spam A worker was building a rocket ship out of grass. Questioner: "Why don't you use, I dunno, like, steel and ceramic plates, to make your rocket ship, rather than grass?" Worker: "It's just a hobby project." Questioner: "Why don't you make it a serious proiject?" Worker: "I really have more time than money, honestly." Questioner: "Why don't you get a job?" Worker: "I have a small job." Questioner: "Why don't you get a higher paying job?" Worker: "I haven't put the work and time." Questioner: "Why don't you put the work and time in?" Worker: "I like building spaceships out of grass more." Questioner: "Oh." Questioner: "Why don't you change what you like?" Worker: "I guess I could try that." Worker: "But I guess I wouldn't do it just because you asked me why I didn't." Questioner: "Why don't you do it anyway?" Worker: "Because you are irritating." Questioner: "Oh." Questioner: "Why don't you decide that I'm not irritating?" Worker: "Okay. That's a good idea. You're not irritating. Now I'm a little more relaxed." Questioner: "So, why don't you change what you like so that you get a higher paying job?" Worker: [looks at questioner] Worker: "You know, it's a lot of reasons. And I'm kind of irritated at the moment." Questioner: "Why don't you tell me what the reasons are?" Worker: "How about this. Why don't you help me get a higher paying job?" Questioner: "Why don't you do it on your own?" Worker: "Why don't you buy my grass spaceship?" Questioner: "It looks kind of cool. How much do you want for it?" Worker: "A higher paying job." Questioner: "I need somebody to go around and pester people with questions [for my borg queen]. How much do you charge?" Worker: "$100/hr" Questioner: "Why don't you do it for $50/hr?" Worker: "Okay."
What did Rational Logic say to Bit of Information? Rational Logic: I want to combine you with my other bits of information. Bit of Information: I want to be combined! I want to be combined! Form a rational conclusion from me! Rational Logic: I could use some help here.
Three Bits of Information came together to try to combine with a Fourth, to form a Rational Conclusion all together.
Spirit of the Rational Conclusion: I know you guys want to infer me! I know you can do it! Bit of Information #2: I ... Rational Logic: OH no, my tummy feels funny! [vomits assorted complex meaning a little] Bit of Information #3: Oh no! I'll clean that up! Rational Logic: Let me help.
Rational Logic: I'm imagining a few bits of information. I imagine that these bits could combine to form a rational conclusion. Assistant: Well, what is a bit of information like? Rational Logic: How about this: keyboards are used for typing. There is a keyboard somewhere in the universe, I think. Assistant: Maybe that's a bit of information!
Rational Logic: If I'm _trying to type something_, I might find _utility_ in a _keyboard_ ! Bit of information #2: That's incredible!
Rational Logic: Oh, everything makes sense now, with this "keyboards are for typing" concept. I bet there are things called "goals" in the world, and maybe some things are "useful" for these "goals"! Assistant: That sounds like another bit of information!
Assistant: It sounds like it's useful, for _everything_, to know what's useful for goals! Rational Logic: Woah! That sounds really useful for everything too!
Rational Logic: That seems like so basic, I shouldn't need to think about it. What's useful for the goal of forming a conclusion from bits of information?
I'm thinking of spamming a new list to give this one a bit of a break from my powerful volley of spam.
I'm not sure what other venue to unleash spam onto. An obvious choice is cryptome, and I don't know much about cryptome, but I imagine it as having a similar reader base as this list, which may not meet the goal of giving people a break. When I got into spamming this list, I was kind of dissociated and delusional, and roughly imagining the list as something [destroyable and resilient] that would be a safer outlet than things where conversation was more clear, productive, normal, and professional. Maybe somewhere like 4chan or a blockchain message board? Or a discussion chat that's changed elsewhere and left a bunch of coopters and coopted people behind? Something to think about, I guess.
I bring you: SPAMBOT! No, it's not a robot that sends spam. I don't think one of those would ever work. No, it's a BUNCH OF SPAM IN THE SHAPE OF A ROBOT! my client uses a variable width font, so ascii artwork is hard. but imagine piles and piles of spam all squished together into a vaguely humanoid set of rectangles. maybe we can put spam motors in it and make it move!
spambot: "I want to use email." inventor: "Are you sure you're ready? Do you know how to write emails?" spambot: "I can do it. I can do it." inventor: "Well, I guess there's no harm in letting you try." spambot: "How do I send email." inventor: "This is an email client. You have to navigator to an email form, enter an address, a subject, and a body, and then send it." spambot: "I want everyone to get my email. Lots of people. What do I put in the address?"
inventor: "I'm worried you might be spamming people, even though I know robots can't send spam." spambot: "Why would this be wrong?"
On 3/7/22, Punk-BatSoup-Stasi 2.0 <punks@tfwno.gf> wrote:
On Mon, 7 Mar 2022 17:18:56 -0500 "Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many" <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
take 2
hello cypherpunks list
i am very sorry for spamming you.
but, when i say that, it feels shallow. it feels like i am spitting on you. because i continue to send these emails.
yes karl. You are an asshole. Stop it.
apologies I did not immediately reply to this I feel sad hearing this, worrying I'm angering you. I hope we can find a way to move through this situation. Can you imagine how it might improve?
participants (3)
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Douglas Lucas -
Punk-BatSoup-Stasi 2.0 -
Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many