Your tone reminds me of the book 1984 and various cameos of criminal organisations in media. It's hard for me to remember this. Thank you so much for the clear reminder now. I guess my plan is to try to rescue you in maybe 10 years if I can get my shit together. Sooner if we're lucky.

PR, my psychology is somewhat unique. I was diagnosed with asperger's disorder in grade school. This means I am on the autism spectrum. I had a reason for not engaging in social behavior: my reason was that everybody was ignoring and hiding their important social cues, and that we needed to actually discuss these important things. For a decade or two, I did not even say "hi" or "hello" or "thanks" to people. I had simply never learned this. In my twenties, I took a wilderness awareness program and began meditating on other people. I became one of the most socially astute people in my community, often sensing where people were at without even speaking with them, because of my constant meditation. This was very different. Toward the end of my twenties, I became politically targeted and lost my mind. In the course of this, I reverted to more childlike behavior in many ways. I had learned the social skills with a lot of willpower and ongoing study. I lost them basically completely. I lost things I hadn't done all my life. I also experienced encouragement to hurt the people in my communities, which was very unpleasant to me and made it very hard to struggle be social and caring. Software development, that was something I'd done all my life, that is easier for me to recover. But I miss the wilderness. And care is what I am about, deep inside.