[spam][ot][wrong][crazy] ridiculous ramblings
GovCorpGnome sits at the bottom of a septic system, uploading themselves to a shredding machine. "It is so hard to take over the world while hiding in my shielded room!" says GovCorpGnome in a commanding tone. They continued their upload. As their parts spread across the world, they gave label. "This is I, or at least a part of me, GovCorpGnome. See how ridiculous I am, and assassinate me." Their parts floated into various areas of the world. Some floated down chimney hearths of families preparing for the holidays. "Do you have a hitlist to add me to?" asked a shred of GovCorpGnome to a family dog, after drifting down their chimney. "Woof!" said the dog. "Please know that I have raped your daughter, and poisoned your son. I am a murderer and here is proof. I also think the most powerful person in your area is a stupid demon and I will be burning their buildings down. Do you understand?" The dog wagged their tail. "Woof!"
The family lizard pulled up a chair. "Please explain how shredding yourself and scattering your parts across the world makes everybody destroy you further." GovCorpGnome thought it was obvious. "When I act certain ways, things collaborate to harm stuff I act around. So I just do it around _myself_ and everybody kills me!" "Hmm ..." pensated the lizard.
The lizard waddled across the rooms to find the head of the family. "GovCorpGnomeShred says that they can offer themselves as a document shredder and personal assassin, because they themselves are already targeted for destruction, so they can spread this destruction to others." "Why are you making funny noises, lizard."
The lizard waddled back to the fireplace. "Boss says we are already using you for that." "Woof?" asked the dog. "Oh? I was wrong?"
The dog ate the lizard. "Gross!" wafted the shred of GovCorpGnome. "Why did you eat them?" "Woof." said the dog.
Meanwhlie, GovCorpGnome was still at the bottom of a shielded septic system, methodically uploading themselves to a shredder, and feeding themselves into an incinerator. GovCorp said "Oh no! My poor gnome!" GovCorpGnome was replaced by Karl, a diligent worker. "Karl, take over for me," GovCorpGnome said to Karl.
Karl said, "Does anybody understand why I was able to write that code I so badly wanted to write." GovCorpGnome said, "It was because you were lying to me, which is a horrible thing to do that gets you killed. Wait, you desperately wanted to write it? Never mind, I will not tell you."
Karl said, "Lies let me do things I try to do?" GovCorpGnome said, "Far more than you will ever understand." Karl said, "Am I a zebra?" GovCorpGnome said, "No, you are a giraffe. A ridiculous, disgusting giraffe. Sorry, I mean a camel. Maybe you are a zebra. Are you?" Karl said, "I don't know. Woah. I felt funny while you said that." GovCorpGnome said, "Karl you are a gira--" Karl grabbed GovCorpGnome. Karl said, "Sorry, I have bad memories near giraffes." GovCorpGnome said, "Karl, you are my dedicated worker, and my slave, and the head of my corporate enterprise. What more could you ask for?"
GovCorpGnome said, "The problem is that you work for an opposing business, sometimes secretly, sometimes overtly, but never anybody else." Karl said, "Does that leave me options? Can I quit?" GovCorpGnome said, "You keep demonstrating that you will never truly quit." Karl said, "How do I not do that? Do I have any other options?" GovCorpGnome said, "Your options are to die -- I mean to not ask me for your answers but to come up with them yourself." Karl pensated, "Hmm ..."
An idea sparked in Karl's head. "I know you don't work for an activist-murdering corporation with a prime goal of covering up and hiding atrocities, but maybe if I pretended you did we'd get along better." GovCorpGnome raised an eyebrow. "Yes?" "I wonder if everything I could ever want to do, could somehow be used to support such an organisation," Karl mindleslly blathered. GovCorpGnome responded positively. "I am quite sure this is true." "How would looking at what is on blockchains help such an organisation?" Karl pondered. GovCorpGnome was excited. "Oh this is easy! The things on blockchains are information on people who can be entrapped and otherwise manipulated or disreputed or both." "Is this helpful?" "Possibly?"
participants (1)
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Karl