[ot][personal] naive dissociation therapy notes
it seems like ideally one would figure out in advance how integration would go and demonstrate this to the dissociated parts so they get on board. second to that, for addictions, invasive thoughts, gangstalking - we want to find ways to reduce the experiences without stimulating them. this is possible. - the goal is to have all nasty stuff be safe and conscious considering and communication, rather than extreme experienced - when we stimulate the extreme experiences more, we lose progress, so learning the things that make them tense, defensive, fearful, aggressive, or otherwise stimulate expression is helpful when safe to do. - hence, if there are multiple people involved, relating around and attending to when things seem more dangerous or not is incredibly helpful. - the work happens in steps. we look to find ways, even microscopic, that help, and build skill with them, try to establish them as normal. - every tool is helpful, although some are better than others. we want to use them in ways that are sustainable, which can mean just a little sometimes. distraction, reward, dialog, pausing, strategic memorization, pacts, anything. - if something turns into a trigger, it’s possibly better to find a way to increase its safety by e.g. occasionally pairing a microscopic form with a reward - temporary progress - things that will break - is helpful too because it builds experience and skill with all the associated helpful bits, but it’s important to have some other progress to shift to when it does to keep up a norm of improvement - finding plans that are safe to make very clear is very helpful, it provides to begin integration - see a dissociation specialist once you can.
- with amnesia, it’s important to find ways to make steps on things that persist across amnesia (strong habits, pairing a step with an addictive behavior; involving other things people places; visual exposure of safe reminders) - amnesia is an extreme experience like the others. i think there might be a way to consciously apply this list to amnesia to build memory skill [new idea needs daydreaming; for example microm-memory-practice with an intention of respecting duration and content [triggers] and finding avenues that avoid them]
- honestly my path has been involving getting really “tough” with a skill, to persistence it across extreme experiences. i chose to do this with only one skill, not kmowing what would happen. the end result is you can perform that skill much better than other behaviors, and you also develop skill at doing things through extreme experiences in general, which is quite useful. however, the skill becomes very simple and rote, like a dumb muscley athlete in the brain, because it was maintained through hell with formation and association of triggers to exhaustion. i get the impression that therapists and psychiatrists try to avoid that route.
On 8/5/23, Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote: > - honestly my path has been involving getting really “tough” with a > skill, to persistence it across extreme experiences. i chose to do > this with only one skill, not kmowing what would happen. the end > result is you can perform that skill much better than other behaviors, > and you also develop skill at doing things through extreme experiences > in general, which is quite useful. however, the skill becomes very > simple and rote, like a dumb muscley athlete in the brain, because it > was maintained through hell with formation and association of triggers > to exhaustion. i get the impression that therapists and psychiatrists > try to avoid that route. also its utility shrank a lot from the formation and association. - a better way to preserve a skill is to have it be what you do when dissociating, distracting, indulging, coping. this could mean adding a lot of reward, changing what it is some to be more about fun and relaxation, and/or suffering by not coping in ways that are easier, demanding it be how you cope. it seems likely helpful to find a way to do it for fun with others somehow, and to keep it in areas that are easy and simple and develop slowly from there. - another i left out is the value of notes. notes can be super hard to make but they provide much more conscious understanding of one’s experiences. comparable things include talking with others, making stories or music or art, or even getting angry. things that help you comprehend and notice what you are doing and experiencing, what works and what doesn’t.
- regarding executive functioning, daydreams on this are still pending, but i read the reason for executive functioning issues is that the mind splits and different parts try to use the executive functioning facilities for contradictory things at the same time [maybe causing inferences not to form] - also left out self-talk or prayer. talking to others seems to serve this function too. this can open dialogue with parts that can observe the expression or its impact, and in some way respond. when doing this do not run the risk of assuming there is a conflict if possible, because a part unsure of its role might then figure it’s in conflict. note i mean any of parts of the mind, human beings, and computerized language models.
- left out [tension, forgot other things]: tension, worry, fear, concern, etc seems to increase the probability or density of extreme experiences. if you can maintain not exceeding any maximum degree of tension, maybe by attending to it possibly managing thoughts and behavior when it is higher, then you can lower the average tension by working to grow areas that are more relaxed. this is expected to build skills that reduce the extreme experiences and maximum tension.
[small mistake regarding tension, left out importance of engaging issues rather than self care always
[why does this happen? i’ve always said that it’s roughly because trauma breaks parts of the mind that learn to look for new avenues to meet goals of e.g. safety that are no longer logical but instead mutate the functioning of the brain. this is horrible and should never be used to manipulate people. my experience, i think my mind also thinks an abusive AI can read my thoughts to harm me, which makes thinking harder to make safe.]
- [intuition and thinking may seem to not work anymore. i’m finding it productive to think of these as the little parts that work, when they do work. this can include notes, self-dialogue, environments, friends, or behaviors that help ideas emerge … when attending a therapeutic exercise or training, for example, they might tell me to use my intuition or focus on something, which could quickly ruin my day from triggers if taken literally, since the problems have keyed onto those parts of my mind so much. by instead finding ways to use things that do have those effect successfully, even if i haven’t found many yet, instructions can make much more sense, and skill grows.]
[- learning: repetition, especially in different contexts and states of mind. found this in a paper regarding late stage dementia. works.]
participants (1)
-
Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many