[ot][spam][crazy] empty thread for unk
this is a thread, possibly for [self-]relation around situation, or anything else
likely returning to 'attention' task in some way. is being done very slowly, making for repeated stimulations that engage handling. some parts unaware of the plan to make that more doable.
in me, i use coping strategies that run risks that can be and are exhausted. it would be nice if this situation were engageable via some other means [related to mental pressures].
a lot of processes in me assume that somebody is 'in charge' and 'should have control' but they reference a process focused on harming me when saying this.
squared dot product math joke regarding supporting karl vs killing him: 'this is not how you show spiritual validity. it is _backwards_.'
inverted mental processes: 'come back when you have a better joke. i'll be here, re-adapting.'
confused. a rep said it's our responsibility to be less taken over by this, inferences formed that that likely means doing normal work for a normal caring group, [maybe preferably one supported by wealthy interests who could be near new influence research?] {but honestly it takes us so much energy to make even small life changes that the proposal looks kinda ludicrous. we are _very very slow_ and need _consistent sustained effort_ to do things.}
grassroots efforts plan to rescue everything and everybody. it's important to join that in some way.
taking a pause for that concept or its inferences/implications to resonate it's hard for me to pursue more than one task at once. pursuing a task is complex within me. we all get involved, and many of us are [very slow]. [multitasking has some ongoing representatives, but of course when multitasking we sustain value around the task we left.]
big additionalinversion present internally atm [seems to be vessel of request, strangely]. takes some time to acclimate to these things. plans / relations etc very unideal until acclimated.
[ a script is glimpsed it's an image synthesis model when run it makes a picture of a neuron lifting barbells, super beefy ]
so :) volunteering :) i'm trying to get established as a volunteer with a group i'm new to in the area. i reached out to them and they replied but i ignored the reply, and that was some months ago. i could read it, or reread it if i've already read it, and figure out steps to move forward :)
also i have a secret that i am keeping to reduce my difficulty. i am doing something i do not want to do. it has very strong pressure against it. the patterns to do it are difficult to resonate with the steps needed to do it comfortably.
the secret is that i am indoors. it would be good to change at least my email name to be a victim of undiscussed abuse if i am to stay indoors. but i spent many weeks outdoors this winter and the volunteering might be more important ... maybe i'll take some time and think on it.
this is too confusing for us multi-neuron groups. we may be handling big areas of sidespread from considering them. i think we want to go outdoors, over the various other tasks. we're used to that priority. we'll just goal it up for a bit and see how it goes.
it didn't work we're changing the pattern. karl uses productivity-device only if he changes his email-name as expressed.
i signed an email something like this: apologies about the email name regarding abuse. it's part of a deal with myself to direct my behavior better after experiencing coercion to stay silent about political targeting.
my patterns have shifted, and i have a big thing tomorrow i don't want to be too crazy for. not sure how/where to hold the transformer model work atm. quite fun. also a little edgy :/ not sure what's in store for me over the next couple days.
goal: add memory-efficient-attention to gptj, providing support for all gptj features. partly implemented. was stuck on option. can implement option now.
participants (4)
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k -
Karl Semich
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Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of
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Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, Victim & Survivor of