[ot][spam][crazy][random][wrong] karl is a turd
karl is a turd karl is an idiot karl is ridiculous karl is a turd karl is a pile of shit karl is worthless phlegm karl is stupid karl is icky. tell karl to go away. don't talk to him.
a monument is built to karl for the karl-disreputation ceremony. robot arms lob thousands of pies at the monument
a crane comes with a sewage pipe and spews sewage onto the head of the monument it courses down the monument, covering it, wiping the pies mostly off.
[this is a DRAFT relation ceremony. it is unauthorised. the correct ceremony would find an approach that is not disrespectful of karl]
a wrecking ball comes and knocks the head of the monument off. it tumbles down a hill into a ditch filled with trash. people come and kick it and jump up and down on it.
people crowd around the banquet, eating things they don't really like, all feeling uncomfortable and wishing they were somewhere else. a fork dings on a glance and a speaker stands. all quiet and listen. "karl is a turd", the speaker speaks to the banquet. applause. cheers.
the speaker beckons to another banquet-goer. the banquet-goer rises slowly. they look to the speaker, and they look to the crowd. a sound is heard as people take in their breaths in anticipation. and they speak: "karl is a turd" the breaths are released in satisfaction. more applause. silverware clangs.
the two speakers beckon, and a curtain drops. it is karl. he raises his head and waves. breaths are held again. "i am a turd" more satisfied gasps. more applause. karl walks among cheers of "you're such a turd!" and sits down to join everybody.
moldy fruit and silverware are thrown at karl. most of them bounce off of him, some miss. when a thrown object misses, he apologises profusely, explaining what a turd he is, and goes and gets the object, and returns it to the person who threw it, and sits back down. they throw it again, and it strikes him the second time. he smiles and says "i'm a turd!"
the whole crowd, the banquet, and karl, all go down to the ditch full of trash where the monument's head rolled, and kick it and jump and down on it. everybody spits on it.
karl pipes up and says, "hey we could use pickaxes to damage the monument!" everybody groans. "karl, you're such a turd," karl says.qqqq
a play is put on for the occasion. the mayor and chief of police switch around roles, playing either a newscaster interviewing karl, or karl himself. newscaster-role: "karl, how does it smell to be a turd?" karl-role: "oh, everything smells like shit! all the time!" [roles swap] newscaster-role: "karl, don't you just wish you could die?" karl-role: "oh, so much! i just want to jump in a trash compactor!" [roles swap] ...
karl goes and gets his gravestone costume and lays down in the graveyard he sneaks out from under the costume and dresses up as a funeral procession and marches through the roads
he goes and gets a toilet seat and a trash can and places both on his grave a sign is erected to draw people's attention to the facilities
participants (1)
-
k