For the n.ggers among us :D Black Man Votes Republican, Immediately Turns White https://babylonbee.com/news/black-man-votes-republican-immediately-turns-whi... .. There are now signs up at the voting location warning black voters that if they vote Republican they may also suddenly turn white. 'I Can't Believe Christians Think It's Safe To Go Back To Church,' Says Woman In Line At Walmart https://babylonbee.com/news/im-glad-were-closing-churches-for-public-safety-... .. "Close proximity with all those people, singing and stuff? Man, those people are really anti-science," she said as she waited in line with 57 other people, pushing a cart that hadn't been cleaned in days. "It's like, read one of those sciency books, you know? Or watch that science guy on TV." China Issues Stay-At-Home Order To Hong Kong To Prevent Spread Of Democracy https://babylonbee.com/news/china-issues-stay-at-home-order-to-hong-kong-to-... .. Reaction by the American media was swift. “Wow, China is so great! I wish we could be like China!” exclaimed numerous journalists. “Why can’t Trump be China?” American politicians also spoke up on the order. “Hopefully the people in Hong Kong will be more compliant than Americans,” said Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer. “We issued our stay-at-home order far too late to stop the spread of the idea that people have liberty and can do whatever they want.” Other Babylon Bee headlines found here: To Save Time, The Babylon Bee Will Now Just Republish Everything Biden Says Verbatim https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-offered-position-as-staff-writer-at-the-ba... ... We're tired of trying to out-parody things like "I got hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun and the kids used to reach in the pool and rub my leg down and watch the hair come back up again" and "Corn Pop was a bad dude." Like, what do you do with that? Seriously. Go ahead. Try to satirize it. Anything you do just doesn't have that perfect mix of absurdity and reality that makes satire work so effective at communicating truth. So we're throwing in the towel. ... ... Finally, laugh at these hilarious Babylon Bee headlines from our new best satirist, Joe Biden: - Biden: 'Poor Kids Are Just As Bright As White Kids' - Joe Biden Says All Men And Women Are Created By You Know The Thing - Presidential Candidate Nibbles On His Wife's Fingers - Joe Biden: 'I'm Going To Beat Joe Biden' - 'Go To Joe 30330' Says Joe - Biden Tells Campaign Rally 'We Choose Truth Over Facts' - Joe Biden Calls Iowa Man 'Fat' And A '[FLOWERBED] Liar'