Journal, Tor Mirrors
It's 10 AM on July 23, 2023, and I am downloading tor browser 12.5.1 at 30 KB/s from a mirror. Here are some tor mirrors: https://tor.ybti.net/ https://tor.eprci.net/ https://tor.zilog.es/ Today I was lucky enough to stumble on some feelings of meaning or sacredness while driving, and I drove by a roadkill deer. I'm parked near where I saw it, now. As I mention every moment, I've experienced strong political influence to build alternate behaviors in me counter to my own views. I believe in animal rights -- I see animals as sentient. But my genocide-inducing alternate identity does not. It's very very very hard to give respect to animals by the road. I used to give tobacco when I saw a dead animal, and give it a personal ritual of mourning. Somehow, seeing the large dead deer, while recently having held meaningful thoughts, I was able to engage these ideas again. I thought of [handling inhibs :/]
[ anyway, long story short, one of the big things the alternate identity reduces is contributing to things it likely sees as similar to or supporting anti-energy, anti-infrastructure, anti-civilization activism, so one of the things i do when i really want to reduce a painful experience is donate money to an organization supporting environmentalism or such that it sees as supporting these things but i'm having trouble getting to these things in order to donate them, and one of the things i noted was that torproject.org is blocked by my mobile provider now. i have free government social benefits mobile (via t-mobile atm) [and a low end hot pepper phone] ... meanwhile my browsers and devices are not working in various ways .. it's news if torproject.org is blocked in the usa . i eventually got it to load in curl and saw the block page from opendns.org ... ]
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Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many