On 6/11/22, Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:

...

but this had to be said. Normally I just write my ideas in the title bar of file explorer and I don't save them.

i did this for a couple years

i'm guessing it's a human-trafficking-surveillance thing, lets people communicate deniably with keyloggers

To add more to this, my experience was roughly of experiencing punishment (some of this was clear and vivid, like systems in the real world grossly misbehaving, or facebook showing me only quite unpleasant things, or being sensitized to things I was very uncomfortable with via continuing rapid exposure, especially during times i was trying to handle being exposed to it), unless I engaged a state of mind where I responded to small indicators of what to do. The state of mind was unfortunately also rather psychotic; seeing messages everywhere, since direct communication was also punished -- and I would respond to things that were not relevant, as well as things that were, and I learned to do this out of fear. I see others doing this too. I try to always act like what is rational and checkable is what's important, when I can pull it off. It seems quite clear to me that psychosis can be learned via extensive gaslighting. When you are in an unreal situation, you learn habits that are unreal. Psychiatrists are generally not fans of that, which can open further conspiracy paranoia. A therapist recently told me that there are things that _present_ the same as a psychosis, but are not _actually_ a psychosis. Maybe that's the big difference, dunno.