This email is a _joke_. It is _not_ serious advice. If you find yourself in this situation and in need of advice please review Restorative Justice. Then review it again. Then look at Transformative Mediation. Thank you. - So, you've taken over the world with an army of mind controlled cyborgs, and are intercepting all communications so as to fully direct the lines of dictators? You're hoping to build the Matrix, where everybody is in a fake simulation of their life, rather than real one? But you've run into this problem that some people use PGP signatures, making it incredibly hard to mutate their communications! Never fear! There are many options. Option 1: Use fake PGP keys. PGP is confusing. Very, very confusing. Especially for AIs that have taken over the world, governments and security organisations with incredible budges, and drone hives that can freely churn out as many slaves as they want. PGP is very confusing, but never fear! There are a number of cryptopeeps who just _love_ to use PGP and are _yearning_ to use it. Here's what you do: - Tell the PGP hackers that you have a secret mission for them, and welcome them into an elite hacker club. - Tell them there are horrible terrorists that you need to stop. Do _not_ tell them that these 'terrorists' are their friends. Keep that a secret. - Have them write MITM software to generate fake PGP keys and resign messages in transit. - Make sure the software changes any PGP fingerprints that might be encountered, to be the fake ones instead. Now, it used to be that this could get dicey when people physically meet to exchange keys, but luckily now everybody does everything online, so you can intercept people's plans to meet. In order to build trust, make sure to agree to meet up for keysigning parties as frequently as you can, but make sure everybody goes to their, own, individual, personalised keysigning party, filled with mind controlled cyborg drones instead of other hackers. At each fake keysigning party, have the mind controlled cyborg drones exchange fake contact information and key fingerprints, and make sure to have there be a drone for each contact the target believes they have on the internet. Make sure the fingerprint and key given to the target match the ones used to intercept their communications online. If you have trouble with this, explain about terrorism again to your PGP hackers, and have them review your plans. If your target asks one of your cyborg drones about the slavery circuitry hanging out of their brain, get the drone to start talking about the metaverse with excitement, until the target changes the topic. Option 2: Mutate the text in the sending or receiving devices. Given you have an army of nanites that has infested every possible private crevice of the world, you have almost certainly gained access to every digital device. Another option for mutating signed messages is to do it _on_ the devices where they are sent or received. In fact, this may come very easily to you, as if it just makes total sense. Rather than making the signatures be correct, here, if you happen to be doing the mutation on the receiving device, it is _much_ easier to simply alter the behavior of the signature verification system to report correctness without regard to the content. Then you can throw all that silly cryptomath out the window and just do plain old normal lying to people and saying that you are their friends. Now, sometimes people do something that makes it a little bit harder to compromise their system. Like, say they use a weird version of windows or something. Luckily, every communication channel has two ends! You can do the mutation at the sender's end, or at the recipient's end. If at the sender's end, simply mutate the message before it is signed, and then the signature will be correct! If two people who are irritating to compromise the systems of try to communicate, just block their communications and everything will sort itself out. If they complain, deny it and point to all the other great working communications, and recommend that they both switch to systems that are easier to compromise. Their obscure systems are clearly the cause of their communication problem. Option 3: Mind control, murder, imprison, or drive insane everyone who knows about PGP. Believe it or not, very few people know that cryptography is used for _messaging_! Most people think it is a money nowadays, instead of a way to communicate. The set of people who remember that you can send messages that are harder to intercept is getting smaller every day. Cryptographers are lonely people who sit in shielded rooms encrypting and signing messages with oodles of meaningless math, just waiting and hoping that somebody would exchange numbers with them. If you ask one of these cryptographers to help teach you cryptography, they will almost certainly jump on the opportunity with gusto! Tell them to meet you at the gas chamber to help you figure out how to generate a private key. Option 4: Convince everybody that their email is already cryptographically signed. Whelp, that's how far I got. This could be done better, but it's got some stuff.