[wrong][joke][spam] popular dictator
PD (popular dictator) walks up to the podium. "My name is Down To Earth Gal, and I am here to put the existing powers back in power." Everyone hears applause near them and applauds themselves too, figuring it is the thing to do. "I don't want to do this, but they lobby and coerce me, and they've been spending _years_ now doing that lobbying and coercing, so it's what we're going to do. Just like 4 years ago!" More applause is heard, and everyone applauds too. Some robots hand out chocolate and wine. "I have actually the names of the people and organisations who were doing the lobbying and coercing all those years, and lots of recordings of their criminal acts. Here, catch!" PD throws a box full of USB drives out among the crowd. A robot yells "Whoo!" and shoots at it with a laser. "Got that one for ya!" Other robots cheer. Some sharpshooters in the audience get into the feel of it, take out their expensive firearms, and start shooting up other evidence while it is still mid-air. Other people join in the cheering. Other people start climbing over the cheering ones to try to get at the evidence as robots move to collect it. Various drones fly in. "They totally took over every aspect of our lives, and we're going to take them down by putting them in power. I was told by a portion of my lobbiers to raise my arm excitedly and confidently now. I'll do a half raise." PD partway raises her arm and half-grins excitedly and confidently. A loud failure buzzer goes off from one robot. Another releases some canned cheers. The audience is confused. "I hear you guys have a number of rebel groups brewing, so I know we're screwed because I would only ever hear that if it were false. Onward and upwards! What do I have to say next?"
PD goes on TV "I know I'm here to give some address about the economy, but, I mean, did you know that I'm part of organised crime? It's true! Everybody who gets on this show is! That seems so much more interesting, doesn't it?" The feed cuts out. An overlay says it was hacked.
The feed pops back on. "Sorry about delivering that deepfake, oh and by the way, I'm apologising about something, so I also want to apologise about being a deepfake myself. I always say this when I'm apologising, it's just a quirk I have." Feed pops back off.
PD gets on a blockchain videosharing service. Scads of excited community hackers watch her feed, to make sure anything funny that happens is put in the public record. "I am honored to have this opportunity to talk with everyone about our plans to take down blockchains. We were going to co-opt them, but we're planning to just take them down again." PD has a black eye. "Oh this? I punched myself in the eye, it's actually true! Somebody was even holding my punching arm while it happened!" "With these hacker-folks help, I thought we would try to lobby some of the lobbiers! I can tell you, I know a _lot_ about lobbying effectively. Look deep into my eyes, you can tell." "The thing to remember is that everybody up here is a criminal. Absolutely everybody. The only reason anything ever happens, is become some criminal uses unfair means to make it so. So if anybody gives a normal-sounding reason for anything, they're living. And if I ever let down about something, it means somebody is threatening or manipulating me and I'm probably terrified. Here we go!"
[pd could first visit a co-worker, maybe a friend who protects her sometimes, who seems incredibly happy to describe themselves stimulating genocide and other illegal atrocities across the globe and country, friend might say "oh I'm not scared of death but if I let them kill me for not complying, they'd put somebody in my seat who wasn't brave enough to go on tv!"]
participants (1)
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Karl