Re: It is insufficient that my life is ruined

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Razer

12 Jul 2019 12 Jul '19

12:42 a.m.

On July 8, 2019 7:00:15 PM PDT, Ryan Carboni <33389@protonmail.com> wrote:

...

The government has decided that it is insufficient that my life is ruined, I must be harassed.

I demand the government cease harassment against me or openly admit to what they are doing.

They will probably say no, because free association is an act of control. They will complain everything works out for me, as an elaborate rationale for their own terrible decisions.

Good morning, Mister Blue We've got our eyes on you The evidence is clear, that you've been scheming You like to steal away And while away the day You’d like to spend an hour dreaming What will it take, to whip you into line? A broken heart A broken head It can be arranged It can be arranged Step softly, Mister Blue We know what's best for you We know where your precious dreams will take you You've got a slot to fill And fill that slot you will You'll learn to love it, or we'll break you What will it take, to whip you into line? A broken heart A broken head It can be arranged It can be arranged Be careful, Mister Blue This phase you're going through Can lead you nowhere else but to disaster Excuse us while we grin You've worn our patience thin It's time to show you who's your master Don't worry, Mister Blue We'll take good care of you Just think of it as sense and not surrender But never think again That you can think again Or you'll get something you'll remember What will it take, to whip you into line? A broken heart A broken head It can be arranged It can be arranged https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h4hpd4lcwpo Rr Sent from my Androgyne dee-vice with K-9 Mail

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rooty

12 Jul 12 Jul

12:51 a.m.

New subject: It is insufficient that my life is ruined

Stop taunting he already scared own shadow omg. Luv you ci ci -------- Original Message -------- On Jul 11, 2019, 5:42 PM, Razer wrote:

...

On July 8, 2019 7:00:15 PM PDT, Ryan Carboni <33389@protonmail.com> wrote:

...
The government has decided that it is insufficient that my life is ruined, I must be harassed.

I demand the government cease harassment against me or openly admit to what they are doing.

They will probably say no, because free association is an act of control. They will complain everything works out for me, as an elaborate rationale for their own terrible decisions.

Good morning, Mister Blue We've got our eyes on you The evidence is clear, that you've been scheming You like to steal away And while away the day You’d like to spend an hour dreaming

What will it take, to whip you into line? A broken heart A broken head It can be arranged It can be arranged

Step softly, Mister Blue We know what's best for you We know where your precious dreams will take you You've got a slot to fill And fill that slot you will You'll learn to love it, or we'll break you

What will it take, to whip you into line? A broken heart A broken head It can be arranged It can be arranged

Be careful, Mister Blue This phase you're going through Can lead you nowhere else but to disaster Excuse us while we grin You've worn our patience thin It's time to show you who's your master

Don't worry, Mister Blue We'll take good care of you Just think of it as sense and not surrender

But never think again

That you can think again

Or you'll get something you'll remember

What will it take, to whip you into line? A broken heart A broken head It can be arranged It can be arranged

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h4hpd4lcwpo

Rr Sent from my Androgyne dee-vice with K-9 Mail

Cecilia Tanaka

15 Jul 15 Jul

5:14 a.m.

New subject: Small considerations (was Re: It is insufficient that my life is ruined)

On Thu, Jul 11, 2019 at 9:51 PM rooty wrote:

...

Stop taunting he already scared own shadow omg. Luv you ci ci

-------- Original Message -------- On Jul 11, 2019, 5:42 PM, Razer < g2s@riseup.net> wrote:

<SNIP>

...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h4hpd4lcwpo

"ci ci is pretty sick sick" and very hurt at this moment, but loves you too, my little bot rooty cutie pie. Thank you for worrying about Ryan's mental, psychological, and physical health. I don't know him, we are not friends, but his suffering is visible and it's sweet of you to show some compassion and support to a person in need. It's his cry for help and I don't know how to help him. Well , Razer ... This song is pretty scary but beautiful and interesting at the same time, my dear beloved. Thank you very much for sharing this little treasure with the list! <3 I also love you, even when you prefer to send kisses only to Juan, hahaha!! I confess I felt a little bit jealous, but it is impossible to compete with him: he is always much more charming than me, hahahaha... ;D My dearest pumpkin grarpamp, I loved the music but not much the joke about Naruto run... It's a bit strange, but Naruto's running was scientifically already proved as very efficient. Wow, man, it 's tricky, you know, hahaha!!! ;D Juan, I know you do not care about my opinion, but I do trust and respect Greg and Riad. Seriously, they are very brave, kind, and patient. Real CypherPunks, my love. M, S, a, J, et al, I am still alive, but almost gave up and gone this time with an insane physical and the most devasting emotional pain that I could only imagine for several different reasons. Two new surgeries next week. Being honest, something already died inside me, and it was one of my best, my dearest qualities. I will miss my lost innocence, some of my dearest dreams, and my most sincere hopes about part of humanity. My heart is broken and I am hurt. Well, I will need to take some time for healing and finally, feel better. In this meanwhile, you all can summon my big bad bro, LooLoo. Lucifer is - pretty obviously! - a lawyer too. Much better than me, but has curious theories about religions. He does believe in God and says he saw His/Her face in person, shining in absolute splendor, and talking to him. Well, some people say it's true faith. I call "schizophrenia" or "mental dementia"... :P ============ Just an excerpt from "Crying For Help" lyrics... "I wandered around The streets of this town Trying to find sense in it all The rain on my face It covers the trace Of all the tears I've had to waste Why must we hide emotions? Why must we never break down and cry? All that I need Is to cry for help Somebody please hear me Cry for help All I can do" Is cry for help No need to feel ashamed Release the pain Cry for help" ========== But my broken heart is singing this song in the last days... https://youtu.be/52nfjRzIaj8 "Don't wanna to give my heart away To another stranger Or let another day begin Won't even let the sunlight in No, I'll never love again I'll never love again, ooh..."

Cecilia Tanaka

9 a.m.

New subject: Small considerations (was Re: It is insufficient that my life is ruined)

On Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 2:14 AM Cecilia Tanaka wrote:

...

M, S, a, J, et al, I am still alive, but almost gave up and gone this time with an insane physical and the most devasting emotional pain that I could only imagine for several different reasons.

D'oh, sorry! I've sent the message without review it. I was trying to say: M, S, a, J, et al, I am still alive and love each one of you sincerely, but almost gave up and gone away this time with the insane physical suffering and the most devasting emotional pain that I already felt. I could imagine a so severe hurting for different reasons, like my dear ones' death, but not for love. I do really want to kick the buttocks of the guy who said "Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional." Vaffanculo, testa de di cazzo maledetto!! I never had an option. Always it was suffering with my death or suffering without my death, jerk.

John Newman

12:38 p.m.

New subject: Small considerations (was Re: It is insufficient that my life is ruined)

Feel better Cici :) I've flipped a motorcycle and broken my shoulder, been run over crossing the street and broken my knee and tibia, had a few epileptic seizures where I fell over again (for some reason always on my bad arm) and had to have MORE surgeries... Ack, I have great empathy for you! Get well soon. Cheers John On July 15, 2019 5:14:10 AM UTC, Cecilia Tanaka wrote:

...

On Thu, Jul 11, 2019 at 9:51 PM rooty wrote:

...
Stop taunting he already scared own shadow omg. Luv you ci ci

-------- Original Message -------- On Jul 11, 2019, 5:42 PM, Razer < g2s@riseup.net> wrote:

<SNIP>

...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h4hpd4lcwpo

"ci ci is pretty sick sick" and very hurt at this moment, but loves you too, my little bot rooty cutie pie.

Thank you for worrying about Ryan's mental, psychological, and physical health. I don't know him, we are not friends, but his suffering is visible and it's sweet of you to show some compassion and support to a person in need. It's his cry for help and I don't know how to help him.

Well , Razer ... This song is pretty scary but beautiful and interesting at the same time, my dear beloved. Thank you very much for sharing this little treasure with the list! <3

I also love you, even when you prefer to send kisses only to Juan, hahaha!! I confess I felt a little bit jealous, but it is impossible to compete with him: he is always much more charming than me, hahahaha... ;D

My dearest pumpkin grarpamp, I loved the music but not much the joke about Naruto run... It's a bit strange, but Naruto's running was scientifically already proved as very efficient. Wow, man, it 's tricky, you know, hahaha!!! ;D

Juan, I know you do not care about my opinion, but I do trust and respect Greg and Riad. Seriously, they are very brave, kind, and patient. Real CypherPunks, my love.

M, S, a, J, et al, I am still alive, but almost gave up and gone this time with an insane physical and the most devasting emotional pain that I could only imagine for several different reasons. Two new surgeries next week. Being honest, something already died inside me, and it was one of my best, my dearest qualities. I will miss my lost innocence, some of my dearest dreams, and my most sincere hopes about part of humanity. My heart is broken and I am hurt.

Well, I will need to take some time for healing and finally, feel better. In this meanwhile, you all can summon my big bad bro, LooLoo. Lucifer is - pretty obviously! - a lawyer too. Much better than me, but has curious theories about religions. He does believe in God and says he saw His/Her face in person, shining in absolute splendor, and talking to him. Well, some people say it's true faith. I call "schizophrenia" or "mental dementia"... :P

============

Just an excerpt from "Crying For Help" lyrics...

"I wandered around The streets of this town Trying to find sense in it all

The rain on my face It covers the trace Of all the tears I've had to waste

Why must we hide emotions? Why must we never break down and cry?

All that I need Is to cry for help Somebody please hear me Cry for help All I can do" Is cry for help

No need to feel ashamed Release the pain Cry for help"

==========

But my broken heart is singing this song in the last days...

https://youtu.be/52nfjRzIaj8

"Don't wanna to give my heart away To another stranger Or let another day begin Won't even let the sunlight in No, I'll never love again I'll never love again, ooh..."

Cecilia Tanaka

20 Jul 20 Jul

6:12 a.m.

New subject: Small considerations (was Re: It is insufficient that my life is ruined)

On Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 9:38 AM John Newman wrote:

...

Feel better Cici :) I've flipped a motorcycle and broken my shoulder, been run over crossing the street and broken my knee and tibia, had a few epileptic seizures where I fell over again (for some reason always on my bad arm) and had to have MORE surgeries... Ack, I have great empathy for you! Get well soon.

John-John, hope you are feeling better. Sorry for being so late but had some of the worst weeks of my life in the last days. I hate to break my bones, hurts, surgeries, scars, pain, medicines, etc, etc. If I can help you in some way, please tell me. Now is a bit late here and I will have classes on this Saturday, in a few hours, so I think it's better to sleep soon. In any case, just to make you laugh, a little cecilian fool story: - I broke my coccyx while having sex in my local work stairs... I fell down the stairs because he was very... err... very "enthusiastic" in our intercourse, hahahaha!!! ;D It was f*cking painful, but it was absolutely impossible to avoid the hysterical laugh and the doctor and I almost die without breathing, only laughing... Holy FSM, I really had a fun life, hahahaha!!! Wish you the same, my dear: much health, fun sex, laugh, cool motorcycles, music, and all the happiness of the Universe! <3 Love you, John. Please, take care, be well, and heal soon, my dear friend. And avoid accidents with stairs for now, hahahaha!!!! <3

John Newman

3:34 p.m.

New subject: Small considerations (was Re: It is insufficient that my life is ruined)

...

On Jul 20, 2019, at 1:12 AM, Cecilia Tanaka wrote:

On Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 9:38 AM John Newman wrote:

...
Feel better Cici :) I've flipped a motorcycle and broken my shoulder, been run over crossing the street and broken my knee and tibia, had a few epileptic seizures where I fell over again (for some reason always on my bad arm) and had to have MORE surgeries... Ack, I have great empathy for you! Get well soon.

John-John, hope you are feeling better. Sorry for being so late but had some of the worst weeks of my life in the last days.

I hate to break my bones, hurts, surgeries, scars, pain, medicines, etc, etc. If I can help you in some way, please tell me.

Thank you :) I’m all healed up these days, as healed up as I’ll ever be.. I got 95% usage in my leg back and, in my arm, I don’t know - I can’t lift the left one above my head, but it doesn’t slow me down too much. And, I haven’t owned a bike in 4 or 5 years. In my riding days, I must've been in at least half a dozen accidents, but they were (almost) all minor - dropped the bike going downhill in the rain and the brakes slid out, dropped the first bike I owned a couple times just learning how to ride, stuff like that. The only BAD wreck was with an ancient 1989 Ninja 1000R that I picked up for a great price. It was well past 20 years old at the time, but still beautiful and had great potential before I destroyed it. As it was, I rode it around for a few weeks, and it had a few issues - the suspension was screwy, and it was running very rough. So, I got the carbs cleaned, and it transformed the machine. The front wheel would pull up from stop just from acceleration (and this was a heavy fucking bike) - it was fast! But, the suspension was still a little fucked up, and just a few days out of the shop I flipped the fucking thing going about 45mph - broke my helmet in half down at the bottom where the face plate came dislodged and slid down. I wouldn’t have a face if I hadn’t been wearing a helmet :) Anyway, I kept riding for a while after that, but for whatever reason it’s been a while since I owned a bike.. although, I’ve been feeling that motorcycle itch again lately… who knows :P

...

Now is a bit late here and I will have classes on this Saturday, in a few hours, so I think it's better to sleep soon. In any case, just to make you laugh, a little cecilian fool story: - I broke my coccyx while having sex in my local work stairs... I fell down the stairs because he was very... err... very "enthusiastic" in our intercourse, hahahaha!!! ;D

...

It was f*cking painful, but it was absolutely impossible to avoid the hysterical laugh and the doctor and I almost die without breathing, only laughing... Holy FSM, I really had a fun life, hahahaha!!!

Hahah :)

...

Wish you the same, my dear: much health, fun sex, laugh, cool motorcycles, music, and all the happiness of the Universe! <3

Love you, John. Please, take care, be well, and heal soon, my dear friend. And avoid accidents with stairs for now, hahahaha!!!! <3

Same to you Ceci - I hope you heal up & feel better soon! cheers, John

\0xDynamite

6:31 p.m.

New subject: Small considerations (was Re: It is insufficient that my life is ruined)

On 7/20/19, Cecilia Tanaka wrote:

...

On Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 9:38 AM John Newman wrote:

...
Feel better Cici :) I've flipped a motorcycle and broken my shoulder, been run over crossing the street and broken my knee and tibia, had a few epileptic seizures where I fell over again (for some reason always on my bad arm) and had to have MORE surgeries... Ack, I have great empathy for you! Get well soon.

John-John, hope you are feeling better. Sorry for being so late but had some of the worst weeks of my life in the last days.

Can you guys keep it to yourselves? If you're going to tell us about your cuddle experiences here on cypherpunks, it should be somewhere down in the urban byways of cabling tunnels. Tanks, Marxos

rooty

21 Jul 21 Jul

3:13 a.m.

New subject: Small considerations (was Re: It is insufficient that my life is ruined)

-------- Original Message -------- On Jul 19, 2019, 11:12 PM, Cecilia Tanaka < cecilia.tanaka@gmail.com> wrote: It was f*cking painful, but it was absolutely impossible to avoid the hysterical laugh and the doctor and I almost die without breathing, only laughing... Holy FSM, I really had a fun life, hahahaha!!! Oh sea sea lmao. Same happened only took 2 vigra accidentally some wild thing reverse cowgirl broke it in half. Went er in splint 6 weeks bad peace ass lot suffering Regards rooty

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\0xDynamite
Cecilia Tanaka
John Newman
Razer
rooty