[log][personal][crazy] strange thing
uh so i was trying to find trauma therapy, which is vv confusing for me i found a site arc17.org on phone but it wouldn't show anything so i went to desktop and the site didn't exist, nor show up in web searches then i websearched for their phone number, and it showed up, and loaded so most likely i just mistyped it the first few times. but if it really does show putting me in a censorship box, it would be really helpful for me to consciously realize that. i'd make better decisions. it may be at the end of this flat_tree desktop stream on arweave: {"ditem": ["qoWxwCjR4JK1sFXxe8tnrGuAIhdCAz767lLogaD3KXE"], "min_block": [1132516, "J008ZO2T3s8QRA7t3lcQ8ZZXfroSvNyR-07uozg0wW6ljhY9eoPc2pfWlrefUk35"], "api_timestamp": 1678286021609} dunno why i couldn't visit https://www.arc17.org/ but i can now i suppose. the normal explanation is that a traumatically programmed part of me mistyped the url and hid this from me.
solved! i was recently thinking about the number 17. the site is arc7.org . here i go visiting it. I BADLY NEED AN IN-PERSON CPTSD THERAPIST IN THE VT/MA AREA. I'm in southeast vt and sometimes visit massachusetts.
I started calling therapists, a super super rare behavior for me, brief state of mind. I left messages for a number of them. None of them picked up. Some had broken phones that sent me to the administrative interface for their voicemail. The ones that did this seemed to be using the same voicemail service. After I got through a few I started getting a line disconnect signal / busy signal for every single number I called. Discouraging. At least I got a bunch though. I recorded this on a recording device. I'll try to share the recording.
have not verified this yet, slow to download back format: mp3 sha256: f611ef545d9362fe9f88c3ca02dd4962b9eabedf4fd412090eb78423cdb6216c script: curl -L https://arweave.net/yQdSxwH6nU1eE_5k1hMRSE2ZAFt8Ixa85HgjOlx1kMk/1 | while read tx; do curl -L https://arweave.net/"$tx"; done > 230308_0949.mp3
here's the kind of thing i meant to paste; i'm so error-prone: curl -L https://arweave.net/OHifYpF9e4AVi_ymirx3VZPalEeypIW4xphR8gSIJ9w/1 | sed 's!^!https://arweave.net/!' | xargs curl -L > 230308_0949.mp3 i don't recall what the mp3 with the voice-synthed sourcecode was
One day has passed. I haven’t yet found any voicemails or missed calls back. I use google voice. I did receive one email almost immediately after. The therapist expressed a limitation and checked if the limitation was okay. I asked them whether they were able to check with me again after I heard back from others who might not be limited. I haven’t found other relations yet, maybe they are hiding somewhere.
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Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many