In a huge surprise at the Iowa DNC caucuses, Hiltasha Clintonov wins. Details: Surprise Candidate Hiltasha Clintonov Declared Winner Of Iowa Caucuses https://babylonbee.com/news/dark-horse-candidate-hiltasha-clintonov-declared... ... In an unrelated development, all the other candidates have turned up dead. In other news, Bloomberg Purchases First Supporter For $1.7 Billion https://babylonbee.com/news/bloomberg-purchases-first-supporter-for-17-billi... Study: People Tend To Tune Out By The Fifth Threat To Our Democracy Per Day https://babylonbee.com/news/study-people-tend-to-tune-out-by-the-fifth-threa...