317984: "My name is 317984, and I'm a slaveowner."

 All: "Welcome, 317984."

 "How did you become a slaveowner, 317984?"

 317984: "About four months ago the local drone hive sent cyborgs to my place, kidnapped me, installed control circuitry and augmentations, and let me free.  Now I can barely do anything but spread the borg."

 Everyone claps.  317984's neighbors give them hugs.