:) this stuff is reallt hard!

I screamed at my therapist on thursday T_T . screaming is _really bad_ when you have a psychosis. your poor brain doesn't know what are the things to do when stuff gets intense. it can take some time to come back, and you have to be careful to stay as grounded as you can. it can also be an opportunity for change, though.

the therapist kept trying to get me to think of reasons my email name could be bad, using the habitual manipulative phrasing we all use when hoping others will improve. it was really hard for everyone. I was hoping we could talk about the reason I had set it, in the therapy, but that wasn't where it started :/