these have apparently migrated to this main thread
Q: why did traffick boss trip over a toenail?
A: a secret shrink project almost nobody knew about was mid-fire when another project malfunctioned and teleported everybody between offices randomly, and struck traffick boss after teleporting. traffick boss was so zoned out from being mind controlled to do stuff all day every day, that he didn’t notice he was shrunk or that there was ahuge toenail in front of him. (because the computer found it more efficient to give people hallucinatory cleanliness than the real thing, janitor—
Q: why was traffick boss investing billions of dollars into mind controlling a mall animal?
A: another corporation was trying to stop his mind control projects and a discovered the animal was used in a small test once, and stimulated a campaign to protect it. traffick boss was mad about this, and wanted to completely dominate the animal as an expression of power, but a bunch of people inspired by the campaign had had turned the workings of his businesses to protect the animal.
2026 08-26 mt
Q: why were elite militaries defending a wad of gum under somebody’s seat?
A: some mind controllers had a proposal for the next interfaction secret meeting where everybody in attendance is in amnesiatic fugue, so they mind controlled diverse people across the world to hold it, who mind controlled other diverse people across their world to hold it, who did the same, and eventually it was stuck to the bottom of an unidentifiable seat as the wad of gum of an anonymous pedestrian who promptly forgot everything they were thinking and abandoned it.
when it was coming time to present the proposal, a bunch of influential people glazed over and dropped subliminal suggestions to a further pedestrian, who got on the same bus, reached under the sear, and confidently popped the strange gum in their mouth as if in a trance. their brainwaves were read as they attentively chewed it, and the proposal extracted from their brainwaves as they did so (and simultaneously read psychically at the meeting thousands of miles away if you’re lucky!)