i’m scared of the nightmares after engaging mind control recovery y’know, i’m not aware of having ever been raped by a guy in a devil suit, but the described trauma does seem similar to the nightmares and other extreme inhibitions. it’s been so long. similarly, being forced to believe you are murdering people (it’s one of the examples in the thing i’m engaging), i used to have this so viscerally, now i barely remember it much :S but the habits persist, despite the stores fading, blurring. (certainly still have denial programming around government mind control, i read about this and it reads like conspiracy theories, i’m all “this can’t be serious, how can anybody believe something saying this” despite having seen the documents)(?) (it’s certainly h-+ 2210