> Mind control is produced through a combination of hypnotic suggestion, drugs,

> torture, threats, and double binds (choices where there is no good option).

i also might start a book about dissociative stabilization

0654

elided from miller

> Some of those beliefs (such as that the abusers always know where you are)

> might have been actually true …, but are no longer true. Others were never true.

> The indoctrination of mind control consists of lies reinforced by tricks. But …

> you did not know that these were lies and tricks, and probably most of your

> insiders still do not know that. The emotions resulting from these experiences

> are just as strong …

0657 0658

note: i’m skipping chapter five for now. i drafted an email regarding a 500-page stabilization workbook, but the email did not send, it would move from the outbox to drafts on its own, with the attachment removed (maybe too big, around 2MB).

0727

0731 i’m getting confused :)

> Whenever I went to take the bus to see her, my right leg would start to shake

> uncontrollably. It would start again when I sat down in her office. My upper body

> would tense up, my head would suddenly turn towards the left, my whole body

> would shoot back towards the back of the chair, and my head would hit the wall

> behind me. I didn't know what was going on. It all happened within seconds. I

> would lose my vision and then come to, drained and exhausted, either leaning

> to one side of the chair or on the floor near her desk. I could not comprehend

> anything the counsellor said to me until she helped me to ground myself by

> looking at five different objects in her room and/or feeling my feet flat on the

> floor and/or standing up for a few minutes to reorientate myself. Every session

> was basically the same, going through body memories without understanding

> them.

0732

i’m scared. i’m thinking of how grounding exercises can get harder and harder, and of the double-binds i get in internally, (whether to protect my memories and choices or meet internal goals) which have been in the past couple days around this

0733

this case story is from the start of ch6

0734

> I had to write and rewrite what I was reading so that I could retain the

> information for exam time. However, when exam time came, I was not able to

> understand the questions on the exam, and I couldn't organise or articulate my

> thoughts. Sometimes I would go into a trance-like state and just stare at the

> paper until a sudden noise or something triggered me out of it again. I barely

> managed to complete the courses.

it’s (quite impressive) the person can describe these things clearly

0735

i think the person in the case story started having many of my issues after beginning work with an inexperienced therapist regarding a severe childhood trauma

0737

she says therapy was not helpful, triggering programs where she harmed her therapy organization and herself, until she found a therapist “who understands survivors of mind control and ritual abuse.”

0739

the chapter moved on to writing by the insiders. my insiders really appreciated having expressions present ; but likely to copy, and author mentioned (memory contamination), so karl is skipping to ch9 (from start of 6) as seeemed most important

0743 there’s plan to take this slow and building focus on finding skilled therapist

i’m confused, and might return to ch6, unsure.

. one thiught is that we don’t need to “say what is real”, we instead need (patterns that help. for example, modeling talking about things that are even vaguely similar to what go on.

(i guess 9 :s ch for now

0745?

0805 in a video game (stone story, thru bronze gate), a character said something like “i’m scared, oh you’re not a controller, i don’t have a name but you can call me pusher because i push” :)

0807 (it then said “beware o- 

1125

maybe have to work with twisters of meaning and information, to have function

1126

(different: we think you have a brain camera and you don’t, so things (are done fake?) to protect from misuse of memory storage)(noting that also describes information twisting)

1127