In light of Apple’s very public battle with the FBI over encryption, John Oliver designed a satirical ad for Apple to help “both their customers and the government” understand just how hard it is to protect data.

The host of Last Week Tonight – who last April famously boiled down the argument about NSA surveillance to its core issue, dick picks – said he takes Apple’s side, but acknowledged that the company wasn’t doing a very good job of explaining its position.

Watch the two-minute fake ad here. It’s the last two minutes of the segment, embedded below.

“We’re barely one step ahead of hackers at all times,” a voiceover actress explains. “So that when you idiots lose your phone, your information doesn’t wind up in the hands of guys like Gary.” Gary is a creepy hacker gratifying himself over family photos on a phone he stole.

Apple engineers are pictured panicking and cursing.

“So if the FBI comes to us and asks us if we can undermine our encryption without compromising everyone’s emails, texts, and skateboarding videos, this is our response,” the voiceover continues.

“Are you fucking kidding me? We’re engineers, not wizards,” says an engineer.

 RR

"Through counter-intelligence it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble-makers ... And neutralize them, neutralize them, neutralize them"