phone beeps were in the miller book, then a short section on booby traps. my understanding would be that booby traps are what i (and i suspect the ti groups) mostly engage. (big mistake?)

some concern that i had childhood experiences a little like some of these programs (suicide trigger for example?) which could confuse my much more extreme and relevant adult experience which the book author sadly does not believe in.

i have no idea how i could have been mind controlled as a child, my family was solitary, kind, and overprotective. my father did have experience with hypnosis and such that i only learned of late in his life, maybe he switched and influenced me, dunno. my influences felt more feminine imo. it was a single mostly daydream-oriented thing with amnesia afterward where i could kind of engage subconscious intellect briefly if i chose.

sad to share these important and delicate things in unknown company. my childhood was fine and wonderful. i need help with my adult trauma.

but either way, i don’t really know or remember why i have experiences that roughly match programs in this book.

i guess i’m thinking about how, as an adult, i or something learned to stimulate sudden and other behaviors in me, and this engaged of course my existing experiences and the habits built by those maybe as some of the means