hello Cecilia, sounds like you're dealing with atrocious people; it happens in life. i can't make it better, but some things which may be useful in your efforts to remain sane: - keep track of antagonistic behaviors: who, what, when, where, how. this can help illuminate patterns in adversary tactics. - practice sousveillance; sometimes this will escalate things, but more often than not it is a useful exercise, showing those in power that truth is irrevocable; powerful. build your own ground truth. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sousveillance - find supportive communities. many activism camps have decades of experience dealing with adversity in all facets of life. it helps to know others have gone through similar trials, and the coping mechanisms they've developed may help you too. unfortunately cypherpunks is not a good community in this sense - too disperse, too adversarial, too punkish ;) - don't react with violence out of anger. a common technique is to push you toward outbursts and violence. if you give in, they win. it's cheap and dirty tactics, but often effective. find an outlet for all of the stress, anxiety, depression that comes your way. good luck! remember: this too will pass... best regards, :)