ch10 keys to unlocking mind control: [everyone wants to be a mind controller!] [it's a way to get cultists interested in deprogramming. it's honorable to be a leader.] The first three are most important. 1, Build rapport and trust 2. Use goal-oriented communication 3. Develop models of identity. The remaining five carry rescue efforts to conclusion. 4. Access the pre-cult (authentic) identity. 5. Help the cult member to look at reality from many different perspectives. 6. Sidestep the thought-stopping process by giving information in an indirect way. [this sounds like a really kind, needed, understanding thing for some of those topics, not others] 7. Help them visualize a happy future outside the cult. 8. Offer the cult member concrete definitions of mind control and specific characteristics of a destructive cult. 1. Rapport and trust. - nonverbal rapport and verbal rapport both important - mirror body language of cultist - use non-judgmental tone of voice and question choice - avoid judgemental statements - anybody can learn this, and it can take effort to do so 2. Goal-oriented communication - like how businesses communicate, to influence behaviors i bet there are also approaches to influence behavior that don't rely on this, although i see it wouldn't always be harmful when coming from a place of deep empathy - the goal is to help the person think for themselves, and then to leave a cult if it is destructive - learn about both the mind controlled personality and the real person underneath, if possible - build trust and rapport, and then help the cult member begin to question, investigate, and think for themselves. i don't see the similarity to business communication. i often experience businessy people avoiding concepts that result in behaviors they don't desire, even if these concepts are subtly embedded in what they are relating, such as reasons and feelings, or parts of rational logic, or heavily focusing on the good-and-bad-ness of words that relate to certain behaviors, denying synonyms or enforcing synonyms that have the desired polarity, as if value relates to truth and falsehood. 3. Models of Identity Three models/mindsets: - 1. Who the person was before they joined - how they thought about the important parts of their life - 2. A typical cult member of that group. - shows members' views of reality - people should do roleplays with former cult members - everybody should learn to both act like a cult member, and interact well with a cult member [NOTE: my experience happened during Obama rather than Trump or Biden, and was a political target with unique properties. things have changed significantly. {{{i wrote this before realising how different i was: i would guess the biggest changes would be greater effort to suppress the true self, and to make things come across as legitimate in various ways, and to make it much harder to detect. very confused about it now after writing those, could be quite wrong. i might also expect that things would be much more personalized toward individuals.}}} {{basically, things were somewhat gaining experience from how things went, and i went really poorly, so whatever experience was gained from that}}] [i'm remembering there are actually specific differences i'm aware of. things that i hold consciously that shifted to a different part of things so as to function better, maybe like denial, silence, and punishment. i had extended sustained terror to influence me: i infer not everyone has and/or is aware of this, but might instead have more of a behavioral economy situation (i get this if i do that). something got _really_ good at stimulating amnesia. messaging was delivered via social media algorithms and physical groups, and differed between different people.] {when i say things like this, i'm mostly resisting habitual silence for practice. the things that come out can be wrong, as they are mostly focused on learning to come out at all rather than accuracy.} - 3. The specific person in the cult, as they are now. - contrasting this with the real self and the generic cult member gives a picture of the person's identity, and how to identify which identity they are within - many members continue to try hard to fight off the cult identity. takes good rapport to learn. [the author describes a cult that enforces vegetarianism. sad around the example; i often eat vegetarian.] - learn all 3 models as best as one can, before engaging the cultist