unsure if this is non-canon or not, maybe it is canon that goes in non-canon thread: we found 'log' goal, associated with arweave considering plan of focusing on this behavior, roughly for today other than going to farmer's market. the side note is that the cdrom drive was also powered, been a goal for a few days. there's an mc-horror-trigger associated with log goal atm thinking of reshaping parts. confusion, suggestion, and refreezing. the tiny horror experience likely uses the suggestion to stimulate the confusion [kind of: we're imagining two different areas in two different phases]. we could use more experience navigating this in this way. memory skill. the interest is around the suggestion part of the horror-relation: why is there horror associated with this? why is it more associated now? during unfreezing-psychotic-break we had associated horror with logging the experiences possibly-probably could be using the clarity and strength of that association to reduce inferences associated with logging, maybe with some complexity ok that's one. then when the horror stimulates, our part[s] enter a space where there is a need for grounding ... [one of the more grounding spaces is more numb. fewer conscious feedback. this makes inferring hard. the disparity of the space with the concept of logging may also make inferring around logging harder. may be further complexity.] so, now i am having strong desire to poop, associated with unfreezing around the logging goal. see how it goes we're very unfamiliar with doing things we try to do we've spent a lot of time experiencing difficulty with this. so much that we do things that stimulate the difficulty, like leaving the context. this is likely the ease/difficulty factor in the heuristic of concern earlier. in some of these views, an active inhibition could be viewed as a rescue process. pursuing ways to protect people from the horror experiences. mcboss has ptsd T_T [this was a local relation. revealing that mcboss is one of our parts is not intended, nor is there value in backing it up.] how does mcboss express ptsd? what is ... the ptsd expressor doing? stopping everyone from talking about mind control, or maybe doing things that mind control might prevent ohhh wants his business safer he's also working for mind control, by being it maybe the character mcboss would relate to how a mysterious self-protecting emergent mind control process protects the interests of somebody capable of stimulating the development of such a process. in this context the mcboss pattern in the brain is described relatively simplistically as a trauma-driven creativity that looks to protect parts from re-experiencing a/its belief that the trauma is caused by specific antiboss behaviors could make it demonstrate seeming real it may have a mistake, believing there is 1 boss when we likely had/may have multiple mc influences that cross-stimulate[/d] [some of these multiple influences may be coverup experiences for others] i might go back to the cdrom task. it's nice to remember that'd i'd rather do the log task. maybe it could be interesting to try to figure out why i am not, more clearly/consciously.