Regarding being a rapist or not, I asked a woman about this once. This particular woman said that in her opinion, whether somebody was a rapist or not was defined by whether or not they support the free choice of women. That is: it’s important to talk about rape. I’ve raped, when learning to have sex for the first time. But I am not a rapist, because I don’t do this or believe in doing it. It’s important to talk about rape so that we can stop it. It’s doesn’t mean you are bad to talk about it: it means you are good. You can tell how bad rape is from how women act in bed.
From the fact that BDSM exists.
Rape is bad. It’s not a joke or a way to mess with people. It’s a deadly and serious ongoing group of crime rings that try to normalize violence so as to blackmail people into letting them keep killing other people. Be a feminist man. We need as much of them as we can get. When in bed, associate sex with nurturing and care. Never aggression. Never control. If a woman finds submission sexy, find things that she appreciates even more that don’t strengthen that. It means she’s reliving past experiences of rape culture. Heal this culture.