You asked me to speak rationally.  That's hard for me, but also something I value a lot.

The things you say don't at first glance seem rational to me: I'm incredibly sorry.  I'm not used to hearing people speak as you speak.

Do you consider what you say to be clear and rational?

It's honestly hard to think of clear and rational things to say after reading what you write, but I can likely learn to.

Your words might read to me like somebody has tortured you for years and forced you to post to this list to disrupt it.  I can't know if that's true, but you have not said that it is or isn't.