then he linked me to a different video by uhh mark vicente? on the use of videos as weaponry of war. mark vicente is well-known as an experienced cinematographer who came out of a major well-known high-end horrible-bad cult called nxivm i think (pronounced "nixium"). i also attended a talk on the similarities between sex trafficking and fake-religious-cults and a lot of my symbology made sense, it makes sense it didn't make sense before, it's too nasty to really think and feel about. the sex trafficking women are treated like animals, they live in a stable, they were abused as a norm and made to [not support each other, continue the abuse, talk this way themselves]. the level of internalization possible seems very serious. it makes sense i had no emotional places to stabilize if political influences tried to ply me with prostitutes, which is likely an understatement of what happened. it's hard to hold that it just exists, let alone being right in your face with etc.