Around 2014 a homeless family with a child, and a homeless trans person both of whom were struggling to find workable life paths in the area, were sleeping in my apartment.

The child had had a rough life and sometimes I spent time with them to give them small cognitive challenges.  I liked encouraging people to learn to be smarter.  They seemed to appreciate this, mostly because their parents didn't seem to have as much time to spend with them as would have been ideal.

At one point I was working at my desk and the child came toward me, got on my lap, and quickly kissed me on the lips.  This was very strange and got in the way of my software development work.  But, one of my friends had kissed their parents on the lips as a norm, so I figured that was the case with this child, too.

Later, when we were having an apartment discussion regarding other things, somebody mentioned that they had seen me "stealing kisses" with the child.  I figured this was a harmless joke, since it was such a ridiculous way to say it.  Many people were present.

But after this, the family actually _moved out_ to _protect their child_.  I was sad because this family had nowhere to stay and the child obviously had very few opportunities to do anything nourishing.

I didn't stick up for myself, to tell the story more clearly, because I had never had to do this, my whole life.  My behavior and reputation had always spoken for me far better than my own words.

It's a strange experience.  But with my psychosis now, I tend to relate things similar to other things.

That experience was one of many weird experiences that happened during the start of my psychosis.

It's scary to relate because I'm so paranoid now.  I'm scared everything is a reason to harm me.  But I've been harmed so much at this point that there is little reason to fear anything.

So now we enter a paranoid state where I am scared I could be a pedophile and people would kill me because of it.  If I am one, I would love to know how to make it right.  My whole life is ahead of me, and I could dedicate it to anything.  I yearn to live an honorable life.