8. a benzodiazapine called clonazapam was quite helpful for me; my strategy was to always take it at a reducing rate, since it was addictive, and it seemed to help build skill this way. it did mean sometimes seizing and suffering on my own, without it. i no longer experience a need for it, after at most a few years. i tried an antidepressant which was also quite pleasant. i haven't found antipsychotics to seem pleasant, but i've always been scared of them. 9. the documents i posted to the list, "notes from cult stalking talk" seem pretty good to me: https://lists.cpunks.org/pipermail/cypherpunks/2023-June/114745.html page 1: https://lists.cpunks.org/pipermail/cypherpunks/attachments/20230630/73643441... page 2: https://lists.cpunks.org/pipermail/cypherpunks/attachments/20230630/73643441... page 3: https://lists.cpunks.org/pipermail/cypherpunks/attachments/20230630/73643441... page 4: https://lists.cpunks.org/pipermail/cypherpunks/attachments/20230629/8b5d036e... 10. one of the things i liked about the cult stalking notes was their value for self care and quality therapy. "self care" is related to trauma -- it kind of means to learn to relax. learning to relax can be very slow, and nonintuitive, but finding ways to build different little bits of relaxation, they can slowly add up. 11. [i've found that long term deprivation of something, with regard to either me or the influence, can then build an area of ease when it is engaged. for example, i avoided cats for years [because it was used as an analogy for enslaving women], but used to bond with them when young, and my mother got a cat; i found some happiness bonding with this cat]