I made a chart of that, back then.

anyway, with the wim hof showers, i've been thinking on that experience some. for one thing, my mind is pretty different now. that was a number of years, psychotic breaks, hospitalizations, etc out there. when you take meds or have a psychotic break, either of these can change your brain in ways that stick, in my experience. what goes on changes. but powerful patterns can change pretty slowly while delicate patterns can be pretty vulnerable, which is sad often.

anyway, with the wim hof showers, I try to not think that thing that inhibited the nicotine machine, and I try to be gentle with similar thoughts. I kind of navigate my experience as I do it.

the inexactness of the online logging might be helping me some. my inhibitions didn't like precise measurement, maybe because I imagined it giving me more ways to resist them. similarly, sharing these things in public, the inhibitions get "stage fright" kind of, and are less active, change less wildly ...

often I try to develop confidence by doing or saying the opposite of what the inhibitions in me want, like some of the content in the mind control stories. but I try to do that less, or at least much less pointedly, around this task, to help it succeed ...