On Sun, Sep 06, 2020 at 09:43:17AM -0400, Karl wrote:
There is so much to say, and too much to read.
Don't stress about it Karl - there's a lot going on this year (as you may have noticed), and even following (reading, viewing) can be overwhelming sometimes - really, it might be important to put some focus on your health and wellbeing (and no, that's not selfish nihilism, that's just taking care of yourself). It's ok (and appreciated) when you contribute, even in a small way, but don't feel you have to reach "some level" or to meet the "expectations of others" - the bit that you do, within the realm of your own capacities, and whilst still maintaining care for your self, is more than enough - I mean hey, doing something, anything, is a hell of a lot more than many nihilists can say :)
What's important for cutting to the mettle is that I have schizophrenia, and I believe this word to often mean having your behavior forcibly hacked by a secret influence, resulting in reliable weirdness that takes you out of the system. It is not a delusion when you have clear proof of mind control, Zenaan, in addition to that held in the histories.
For what it's worth Karl, I do believe that there are actual programs that have been conducted (and may still be ongoing) - whether they are named "MK-Ultra" or have some other name does not really matter, what matters is that a number of people have come forth over the years and talked about their experiences, and for the time being, I take them at their (written) word.
Nor does it mean anyone is evil.
Oh certainly I agree with you - being under the influence of others, does not, per se, make you evil, absolutely not! Evil is appropriately applied to actions, and here and there to certain words (sentences written or spoken), depending on context. If we are going to judge, let's constrain our judgement of "evil", to actions and words. (We may infer intentions but really should not do so, tempting as it may be - we should be very very careful in inferring intention (this might have been what you really were trying to get at, a couple of weeks ago), and generally we should by default refrain from inferring intention, since we cannot know the state of mind (therefore, intention) of the person we judge, nor what is before them or upon them in their life.) So, depending on the specific context, I will sometimes say that a certain action or certain words, are evil. An accusation, accusing another of guilt, publicly, with no evidence, no fair process, is fundamentally evil, it is simply an attack on another, an unrighteous exercise of power (the power to accuse publicly, and thereby try to damage the target of the accusation attack). There are many actions like this which are prima facie evil. And, motive matters. Cause (e.g. evidence) also matters. I have a conscience. By my conscience I know the difference between good and evil. Here's an example of how complex this can get: 1) If poisoning was done TO Navalny (at least, without his consent) then that would certainly be an evil upon him; BUT, 2) That which is being done WITH the Navalny event (accusing Russia and presuming guilt upon Russia/Putin) is certainly evil - it is an evil upon Russia. Evil #1, does not preclude evil #2 - in fact, both evils may be true at the same time, and evidently evil #2 is certainly true, and evil #1 we have no idea about, since the Western powers are presenting no evidence about it, and if the "Navalny poisoning event" is in fact a hoax, then we will never be presented true evidence about evil #1, since it was simply a hoax done so that evil #2 could be done.
But it does mean that many many people, including me, feel incredibly helpless and have very measurable causeless trauma and brain damage. Are these things what you and I are missing?
I feel for you Karl, and I am hearing you. Your journey, from the sound of it, is not an easy journey, and so I encourage you to be satisfied within your present capacity - you don't need more stress than you appear to already have in your life, and some days (or weeks or more), your capacity might be limited to caring for yourself only - AND THAT'S OK! Karl, it is really important that you know that you are enough. Just as you are, is enough. How can anyone (or God or whatever) ask more of you, than you are able to be? That would be wrong of course. You are what you are, and who you are - and if anyone demands more of you than your are, then they are a silly person ... By the way, your openness and honesty is appreciated - and fortunately in this environment (this email list) there is sufficient restraint for folks to actually hear you, and hear at least some of the difficulties you face.
I wanted to keep psychotic topics off the list to protect the highly-skilled people here. I'm not sure why we seem to be blaming unrelated groups for things they happen to overlap with, and I don't want to have a debate war right now but did want to reply, so I'm coming out as schizophrenic to speed this relation up. Let's look for relevant blame that aids the situation rather than pretending that being angry at people could ever make peace at scale.
You sound like you have really positive intentions Karl - and from the sound of it, you've done really well to be able to maintain such positivity through this challenging journey of life that you are on, that you are experiencing - many people don't make it through with their good intentions still intact, so well done. We have no need to blame one another, not at all. Blame gets in the way of good communication. Facts can be painful or difficult, but facts are not blame. I get that some of the terms I use can be a bit triggering for you, and although on some level I have to admit I am looking to trigger people "generally, out there", I am not wanting to bring challenges to someone who is struggling already, that just makes me a bit sad. And so in your case personally Karl, perhaps we can think of some strategies which might help you through the emotional swings that could happen when someone like me gets on my high horse and starts screaming at the world about how much evil there is... ? We can give it a try anyway, like may be for starters "don't take anything I say personally" - could that be helpful? (And truly, I barely know you of course, and so it "ought" be obvious that there is nothing I say that is targetting you personally, as Mirimir correctly pointed out... but sometimes it can be useful to state the obvious.) Here's a second "meta" strategy: if you think you might need another strategy, just ask, and someone, may be me or may be someone else, will give you suggestion or two. Let's try to find some strategies that are useful for you. Good luck,