karl’s journal draft #47
mar 7 24 thu afternoon
karl thinks he is journaling but it is still mostly neurons.
karl had a rough few days because he was (*eating a ton of chocolate while listening to and reading material on DID therapy.* karl thinks he might have DID now sometimes. not the movie-kind. he has body-takeover-with-amnesia experiences that developed as an adult.
honestly neurons know a ton about these experiences and don’t need them called one thing or another nor shared with consciousness, we just need a therapist who understands them to help. maybe because …
it’s because we won’t let karl remember or act on some things. yes, it does sound like DID. basically, we will tell the therapist how to change karl, the therapist will agree because we took over karl, … and then karl will be none the wiser and tr …
anyway. if all of the community is journaling ….
karl will be none the wiser and traffick boss will do something like take over the world. who cares ??? traffick boss pooie. we care that we had a really intense (coercive) experience, and we don’t want any more of them, and we are firm and hard on that.
i guess i can … i’m integrating a little ;P i don’t know about it. i guess ‘d bette…
we’re sitting for a bit, sharing value some around not wanting to squish each others’ meaning, roughly.
page 2 same date
page 3
> karl will be none the wiser and traffick boss will do something like take over the world. who cares ??? traffick boss pooie. we care that we had a really intense (coercive) experience, and we don’t want any more of them, and we are firm and hard on that.
this was a really long paragraph (confusion.
page 4
honestly i don’t know if it really matters if therapist changes karl
what matters is sorting out our behaviors of internal coercion
but that means freeing karl.
can karl-supporters value freeing karl? so karl can act forthrightly on all his experiences? some do, many strong experiences aren’t so sure …
no we don’t want therapist chang
look we are lots of things!
:)
now journals are poisoned :( again
page 5
> karl will be none the wiser and traffick boss will do something like take over the world. who cares ??? traffick boss pooie. we care that we had a really intense (coercive) experience, and we don’t want any more of them, and we are firm and hard on that.
i think this expression left out “don’t write that now, it would break journaling” :)
page 6
we’re being careful of journaling. what if it broke?
everybody thinks journaling will break. so pessimistic! fill your glass :)
neuron journal 3
today was a nice and safe day to be a tiny neuron doing mundane thinking behaviors
this morning i woke up thinking “maybe today i will write a journal about being a neuron!” really! i really did! when karl was sleeping we were trying to put together some of the material he had been reading and listening to
okok it is um not known for sure um
page 2
anyway
sleeping ummm anyway
page 3
karl and the friendly journal
one day a person named karl was walking along a path when suddenly they encountered a scary and dangerous-looking furry journal animal!
the journal animal made cooing noises and snuck up to karl to nuzzle him
karl had almost never seen an animal in the woods do this before, but he was still scared the wild journal might be mistaken and plan to eat him for lunch.
karl fled, scared of the wild journal he encountered. he imagined a mysterious “traffick boss” working with the journal to hurt karl in ways that were impossible for any journal to do ever at all. he maybe had ptsd-style tactile pains, and chest contractions, and his heart started racing.
this was because karl had ptsd from mind control, not because the journal was bad, but karl didn’t understand this. it’s hard to write this. it is easier to say it is something else (schizo).
either way … woahhh!
ohhhhh
page 4
dear schizophrenia,
mind control victims are taught to pretend to have schizophrenia if they disobey in various ways.
thank you.
page 5
karl was hiding behind a rock. the journal was sad that karl didn’t want to be its friend. it was so lonely!
the journal was so lonely.
as time passed, karl relaxed, spasming or playing a videogame or trying to fix his phone, or messaging a mailing list. similarly, the journal relaxed too, and wandered around looking for fun things to do,
uh-oh
next page
this journal is too manipulative according to “traffick boss”. i’m sorry! we still think it is helpful! it may continue or it may stop. hmm … !
page 7
we can logically prove that karl will journal using confidence-distribution-logic.
(we use these proofs all the time. mind control doesn’t like them.)
basically, because karl is getting into DID therapy, he will be journaling.
so, any t
page 8
hahaha karl oops ummm ooops
karl is suffering . relax muscles.
now somemof us are laughing and groaning. and laughing. laughing is big, it does a lot of differents.
we’re working on neuron things.
page 9
so an “arm of traffick boss” or mind control um hehe
when you’r
page 10
traffick boss is determined to fund a campaign against confidence-logic-proofs. although this sounds like a battle he could not win, he sounds very confident which can be very impactful on traumatized neurons.
it is mostly a very frightening thing where a powerful influence tells you they will take your cognition away and there is nothing you can do about it, and then
:/ different things happen. bad things. mostly to the brain. (you get influenced to pretend to not have the thing, and then without being energized and used it atrophies away, as well as internal harms especially id you figure out a way to keep using it, then (choices neuron battle T_T where karl losing ability to engage the choices and choice-parts to use it, (and other parts associated with it))
page 11
why h
page 12
thank you for your journal adventure. we will try some coping now. requesting to return later!