Re: Check in

My therapy appointment is now. I didn't get the usual zoom link from my therapist. I called him, and reached voicemail. I heard a windows or macosx style 'ding' unexpectedly during the voicemail greeting, which I have heard before on automated phone systems. I left a voicremail. I sent him a text, too, that I left him a voicemail. I called the intake worker who got me the appointment. I also got voicemail. I got an error that the voicemail box was full, and was disconnected. On Sun, Dec 27, 2020 at 11:20 AM Karl wrote:

I think I successfully blockchained this. I feel very intense, and I'm scared of the intensity. It is hard to control my behavior, now. I'm not sure how to make myself verify it is blockchained. but I can list the transactions here, from the .bsv/tx folder that bsvup makes.

I'm getting confused on my computer. I don't remember where to find the files. After a minute of struggle, I remember.

The system is having long delay listing the directory. maybe it has many files. I need a rest now so badly, and I can't comprehend how to rest.

There are too many to paste in. I will link to the readme, and the specific email. Here is the bash I use to do this: $ ls .bsv/tx | while read file; do xxd -ps -r ".bsv/tx/$file" | strings; done

My alphabetically first transaction has the string 'G0D' in it. I hope the named entity is aiding me.

I search for the string README and it takes a long time. I remember repeatedly uploading the same failed transaction, over and over again, not understanding what I was doing because of something.

The search finds other emails, that aren't in my thread. I don't understand. I must have mistyped something.

Oh, I found the cypherpunks archive folder, not the folder that has this thread in it. I'll have to think harder. It's 11:19 . I remember there was a README.md file. I remember this file has transactions in it, so I could check on the blockchain itself, for files with that name. I don't want to, I want to just find the folder I made locally.

On Sat, Dec 26, 2020 at 9:14 AM Karl wrote:

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On Sat, Dec 26, 2020 at 7:43 AM Karl wrote:

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regarding karl's schizophrenia, i'm trying to blockchain this thread using D:// . these transactions have this message and are currently in the mempool: 71a6cde341d03ba48cc385bbbdef98784a81981c37fd8b34ec6df36aa7342232 08f72a3332805fe4b1d41fbf33953a8c87838d7e9b6b20ee3c0c5a780fdd6163 9664b984437541a1d01fd5ea13b699daff0908e5bc151369ebccb00d5042c51d . I

This was a small error. These transactions were the README.md file I added to help me find the files again after losing my memory of this experience.

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expect them to confirm within a few hours. Not all the messages are uploaded yet, including some left out. I plan to upload the ones I left out. [for people learning to read my mind: this error is analogous to how blockchain timestamps are not monotonic]

---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Karl Date: Sat, Dec 26, 2020 at 7:22 AM Subject: Check in To: Jonathan Chack Cc: J William Semich , Kyla Hershey-Wilson , Katrina Semich

[sorry if I cc'd the wrong person, I am a little confused, trying to include invested parties appropriately]

Hi,

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I understand that the videotaping is important for you and I want to support you in this regard. I have located a local therapist that currently uses this type of therapy his name is Andrew Morton and he has an office in Rutland, VT. I would be happy to do a referral for you to his office should you decide you would like to try that type of therapy.

Let me know your thoughts

Christopher Chadwick, MS, LADC, AFC Director

Forensic Consultation & Counseling Service, LLC

I may have gone through an abusive politcal situation of brainwashing and slavery, that I don't believe has resolved yet, out there. I haven't really talked with anybody about this yet. I'd like to be able to personally record the sessions when I want to, so that I can review them later, and for others to find if something happens to me. Do you know where to go to find this therapy?

Thanks so much,