On Thu, May 12, 2022, 11:13 AM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
On Fri, Apr 29, 2022, 4:36 PM Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many <gmkarl@gmail.com> wrote:
2022-03-21 thru 2022-03-27: [X] Week 1 of Wim Hof Cold Protocol, 30 seconds cold water daily. Performed indoors.
2022-03-28 thru 2022-04-12: [ ] it simply got harder and harder to shower at all as I stretched the cold water time toward 1:30 in week 2 and discovered my water could be made colder than I had had it before
2022-04-14 thru 2022-04-15: [X] Custom protocol reacclimation, ramped up in five second intervals from 5 seconds to 30 seconds, every time I ate
2022-04-16 thru 2022-04-22: [X] Ramped up from 35 seconds through 60 seconds, in 5 second intervals, every time I ate
2022-04-22 1930 ET: [X] 65 seconds
2022-04-23 1130 ET: [X] 1:05
Still harder than last month. But I'm feeling confident with my consistency.
My funny experiences stepped in around when 60-65 seconds hit. I fumbled the timer and did it a few seconds longer than planned, and they came in and it felt really cold suddenly.
2022-04-23 1714 ET: [X] 1:05 cold water, indoors, no food, no cookie difficulty: easy-medium
I thought I'd stop eating immediately with showering to get myself to do it, if it seemed reasonable, since the instructions said not to do the breathing it seemed there was likely value around not needing the food.
In retrospect it was a bad time to stop a reinforcement because the first 4-5 timing devices I tried for measuring the time had mysteriously stopped functioning in some way or another. So I'm on the raspberry pi now instead of a phone, for editing this email.
The shower wasn't too hard, but the difficulty timing it is worrisome. Gotta keep it smooth and continuing. I was happy going some seconds over the time.
2022-04-24 0907 ET: [X] 1:05 cold water, food after completion, indoors Difficulty: easy-medium
Refraining from eating until afterward.
It takes a little conscious effort to adapt to the cold water when it turns cold, which is interesting.
Weather is warming and air is getting warmer. Thinking of keeping ice near the shower to cool the air a little.
Upping time to 1:10 .
2022-04-24 1416 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium
2022-04-24 1809 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium
I was anxious and stayed in the warm water first for some time. Then turned it cold and used that nascent willpower to handle the chill.
The ability to direct my attitude around the temperature has been developing slowly and shakily. I've had a big problem with willpower; engaging it can cause psychotic issues. But here it's been gently growing in part of me, feeling different from the big issues. Very rare and hopeful.
I got cold in the water and got goosebumps this time. The alarm went off and I tried to consciously engage the attitude thing again, and with huge relief succeeded this once on more of my own schedule. I stayed a few seconds past.
I've been struggling in other diverse ways, but I was wondering if the chilliness was from adapting to warmer air as the weather warms. Not certain, as the water still feels warm compared to when it seemed colder than my earlier hot showers.
2022-04-25 1623 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
I was thinking how warm it was and did this. I didn't use much warm water prior, which I consider for a reason it felt colder than usual.
2022-04-26 0710 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water, food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
The biggest issue was starting, which is still worrisome.
I took a longer warm shower prior because I wanted to bathe.
I stayed under some seconds after and got the icecream headache.
It seems past time to up the length, but it's been a big struggle initiating it. Not certain. The cold water inhibition wants my food urge to separate from it, it's easier to eat prior than after. I was thinking of tracking when and how much I eat, to take migrating off it slowly and purposefully like the water. Unsure.
2022-04-26 1444 ET: [X] 1:10 cold water with food Difficulty: medium
I had a very little food before, which helped immensely in starting. I then skipped the warm water mostly, and the cold water was very cold! Icecream headache quickly, goosebumps.
I'm still thinking of just upping it to 1:15.
-> entries from the 26th through the 28th lost due to editing gmail draft on multiple systems with intermittent connectivity. on the 27th I had only one meal. during most of the period I was struggling and confused. <-
2022-04-28 1119 ET: [X] 1:15 cold water with food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
I'm exploring developing a little willpower with regard to resisting the cold. This time I decided to try less hard and just get used to it, which seemed to work ok as well.
2022-04-28 1644 ET: [X] 1:15 cold water with food after, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
Still pretty cold, but easier to do. Upping to 1:20.
2022-04-29 0936 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water prior to food, indoors Difficulty: medium-easy
I almost forgot to log this one. It was still very cold to start, but 1:20 seemed like a very short time.
2022-04-29 1117 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water prior to food, indoors Difficult: medium
It got a little hard to log.
I added some orange slices to my food which seems to help. Warming the food helps too.
I was thinking of how close I am to being back to 1:30! Take it gently, be confident.
2022-04-30 0628 ET: [X] 1:20 cold water before food, indoors, easy-medium
I had a rough day yesterday and for the first time this round ate without showering. It is quite inspiring to do this again.
2022-04-30 1542 ET: [X] 1:25 before food, indoors, easy-medium
It's almost easy, and I upped by five seconds !
Thinking on trying to move back to doing this in the morning without food, quite unsure of this. Maybe the food is still important, unsure.
2022-04-30 1831 ET: [X] 1:25 before food, indoors, easy-medium
2022-05-01 0814 ET: [X] 1:25, indoors, easy-medium
I figure I'll have a breakfast afterward and that will be my food.
The shock at the start is finally getting easier again.
I think I can up the time easily but I want to see if I can get back to once a day without food.
2022-05-01 1104 ET: [X] 1:25 + 30, indoors with food, easy-medium
It felt fun at some points again! Also I accidentally went 30 seconds over.
I went outdoors and read the preface of the book. It turns out the technique can help with autoimmune and possibly mental health issues. So I'm trying to be a little more careful as thinking this could possibly stimulate my inhibitions around it much more.
When I went outdoors, I had heard it was 60+ degrees F. It felt like 60+. Turns out it was supposed to be in the 40s, 60 was later in the day. I didn't mind, I was in a t shirt! I kind of think there was a warmer area here, but it could also be this practice making 40 feel like 60 to me.
2022-05-01 1532 ET: [X] 1:30, no immediate food, indoors, medium
I left the water because I felt cold. I barely noticed I was doing this. I got back under. Big icecream headache at the end.
I took a long warm shower prior.
Thinking of spending at least 5 days at 1:30, like the original protocol recommended.
Thinking of having a meal now, after.
2022-05-01 1854 ET: [X] 1:30 with food, indoors, medium
It's funny that 1:30 is seeming so much colder than 1:25 when I did 1:25+30 pretty easily, but this time I think it's probably because I'm getting used to the sudden cold at the start, so I'm taking a shorter warm shower prior.
There's value around doing it slowly. A lot of variables can change, to learn to adapt to. That is, assuming you have a psychotic dissociative willpower disorder.
2022-05-02 0834 ET: [X] 1:30 cold water with food and cookie, indoors, medium-easy
I imagined that cold showers were harmful to the economy, and worried it could get harder to continue, imagining this, I made it easier. I made warm food, and had a cookie with the cold water.
It's much easier at the start, when the water initially turns cold, and is getting harder toward the end, where it used to be easy last week, around a minute in.
I accidentally went to leave the cold water again due to the cold, and had to use my coping strategies to stay.
Each part of you has different degrees of cold, depending on how you expose it. I like focusing on my face, I think I sometimes feel discomfort in my face during the winter and it would be nice to improve.
2022-05-03 1249 ET: [X+2] 1:30 cold water, indoors, with food difficulty: medium-easy
I didn't update for a few.
It's getting easier as I persist.
I often feel warmer in the icy water, than in the cool air before and after, strangely. I might be shivering a little, and stop shivering during the shower. Somewhat strange. Maybe partly psychological.
2022-05-03 1653 ET: [X] 1:30 cold water with food, indoors, medium-easy
I've generally been chilly throughout the day, and experience psychological pressure associated with that sensation. It's interesting to do the showers during this. I might spend a little time in the warm water, thinking it is to help me warm up, and then shift my thinking and turn it cold, and have this chilly water, much colder than the air, feel much easier to be covered in due to the familiarity of the experience.
Still looking forward to having more strength to engage sensations of cold outside of the cold shower. Often I imagine making time to read the book more, but maybe I could find my own ways, too, unsure.
Still gotta look up what that "horse stance" is, and resme the breathing attempts.
2022-05-04 0824 ET: [X] 1:30 cold water with food and cookie, indoors difficulty: easy
it's still hard to start but no icecream headache this time or anything :)
it is notable that the air is much warmer. i'm not entering it cold this morning or anything, like I was earlier.
2022-05-04 1106 ET: [X] 1:35 with food and cookie, indoors, difficulty:medium
I did almost no warm water as I was in a rush. big icecream headache ! somewhat invigorating again !!
2022-05-05 0815 ET: [X] 1:35 with food and sugar scone, indoors, difficulty: easy
I visited some doctors yesterday a side effect of which was my psychology underwent a change, as it can. Things were working differently and I did not eat supper yesterday.
This morning the water didn't even feel cold. It was a little hard at the start, the suddenness, but I didn't spend time in warm water first, and then I didn't feel cold under the cold water. I was honestly wondering if the cold water was still cold at all -- maybe the warmer weather had warmed the water supply -- but it was morning, so that didn't seem that likely.
It rained for a couple days the past two days, could relate to water supply.
Anyway it seems it makes sense to try to get back onto the week schedule for this somehow, even if I still have the food crutch now.
2022-05-05 I missed at least one 1:35 cold water here. Judging by the log looked like I missed 2-3, strange.
2022-05-06 0917 ET: [X] 1:40+2:00 cold water, indoors, before food
I've gotten a rash and took time in the cold water to bathe.
I'm thinking that wim hof recommends 1-2 minutes _per day_ in this phase, and showering too much could cause other issues.
I'm going to try to drop the showers to 1/day, before I eat anything for the day.
2022-05-06 1800 ET: [X] 1:40 cold water
It's actually gotten quite hard not to do these.
I was thinking of what the book said about vascular tissue, and how it implied it is the change between warm and cold that is important, but also how it said you can also go down to 50 deg F to get that change.
Dunno. I took more of a warm shower and warmed parts of me up before making them cold, thinking of this. This also made it psychologically easier. I think it is more than just a thin layer of vessels on the skin. There are a lot of layers of temperature within me.
2022-05-07 0713 ET: [X] 1:40 cold water
Note: +5 seconds every 2-3 times is unreasonably slow with the goal of once a day. Maybe raise to 15 seconds or such, 10-20.
2022-05-08 0707 ET: [x] 1:40 cold water with food after
Bumping to 1:45 . There's only 20 seconds let to the goal of 2:00, so.
2022-05-07 or 08 : I think I did this a second time, and failed to note it. Not sure.
2022-08-09: 1104 ET: [X] 1:45, easy but with trepidation and shock
2022-08-10: 0910 ET: [X] 1:45, easy
Upping to 150. It's great this is finally getting easy again. Time increases have been having a smaller impact after 1:35 or so.
2022-05-11: 1935 ET: [X] 1:50, medium-easy, very warm day, food after
I didn't eat (or almost move) for most of the whole day. Finally I am doing this before eating :)
Upped the time to 1:55. Excited to do a week of 2:00 to move on to whatever's next.
2022-05-12: 0659 ET: [X] 1:50, easy, warm day, with food.
I ended up finding/using a way to charge my phone up some again to add this to this draft.
Erred and did 1:50 instead of 1:55. 1:55 next time.
There's a lot of worry around experiencing difficulty doing this kind of before I start. I think resumite sugar cookie could help with that. I'm out of them.
Regarding the warm days, I guess I'll have to deal with that come autumn.
2022-05-12: 1111 ET: [X] 1:50 again. hard. warm day, water very cold.
It was so cold. I kind of stood there and focused on relaxing, and I think I could have gone longer but it didn't feel nice this time for sure, although on rethinking I can change that perception.
I wonder if later in the day, after more water has run, the water can get colder.
2022-05-13 0707 ET: [X] 1:55, not very cold, with chocolate and food, warm day. easy. The water wasn't that cold again, so I stayed in an extra minute and left it running a trickle. When I started, it was a difficult space in my mind, at the edge of an inhibition, but with some power from the recent energy around upsetness. I'm lucky I made it. Something to try to repeat with more stability. 2022-05-14 1208 ET: [X] 1:55 colder water, food after. Running the water a trickle seemed to help the temperature. See if I can do a week of 2:00 . 2022-05-15 1349 ET: [X] 2:00 cold water, medium-hard 2022-05-16 1254 ET: [X] 2:00 water, medium-easy, food after The water didn't really feel cold. I'm a little worried about the warm weather. But it did feel somewhat cold. I let another faucet drip to try to cool it. 2022-05-18 0625 ET: [X] 2:00 cold water, medium. with food I was shivering _before_ I got in, so ran the water warm for a bit. 2022-05-19 1030 ET: [X] shower 4 day 5, 2:00 cold water, medium. with food. 2022-05-20 0840 ET: [X] shower 5 day 6, 2:00, easy, w/ food 2022-05-20 1459 ET: [X] shower 6 day 6, 2:00, medium-hard, w/ food water was much colder. I showered twice because of amnesia and confusion, I didn't realise. 2022-05-21 0957 ET: [X] shower 7 day 7, 2:00, medium-easy, food after i've been focusing on my face, since that's the most exposed part in the winter, but my face got easier and I noticed my arms and hands got cold and focused on them. my family has reynauld's syndrome (where your extremities get colder), so it's pleasant to think of strengthening them, which I have in the past. this is day 7 of 2:00 so I totally did it ! gotta find something new in that book.