Appeal to Satoshi

Satoshi, if you're listening,  please tell us what a carpetbagging waste-of-time Julian Assmange is, since you created at least some cryptoanarchist value while he keeps trying to drag our good name through the mud.  The first drafts of world history are being written - surely you don't want to be handcuffed to this cretin for all eternity.  Your machine kills secrets - go tell it on a mountain.