we didn’t like saying word and are now doing one on tvda

tvda is now living a double life, where when (is around recovery people acts like wants to recover, and when is around oppressive people acts like likes boss and dislikes self still.

the two parts are blurred together, each having (a bit of the other,

but they are also kept unaware of each other, because each is incredibly shocked by the other and doesn’t know how to process it existing (i think without entering shocking and mind-wrenching flashbacks?

(why dispute, part missing? (wh ooooh. no dispute, we were just doing it ourselves too.))

7/24

(since confused our behavior/writing plan, might as well write:

the part that still acts as if it likes boss has flashbacks of being tortured and programmed when considers itself engaging in recovery. the flashbacks were built in a way that spreads and grows persistently so as to traumatize the recovery behaviors into not happening, so tvda quickly dissociates away

the part that engages recovery and healing has possibly flashbacks both of being tortured and losing its life as well as all the things tvda did while dedicated to boss that were horrible and completely against tvda’s values (this paragraph corrupt and partially filled in from earlier post)